I loved my little Babycat so much

from: still stunned

I can't go look at the page because I'm already too blurry with tears to read anything. My brain is even more blurry. I've lead kind of a sheltered life, under the family wing, etc, I haven't experienced very much suffering or hard work in my life. I don't know what real hardship is.

I have experienced the death of loved ones, first hand. Front row seat. I've been "main helper" twice in my life. The First time was the death of my old friend, Barry Littleton, he died in Feb. 1989, of AIDS. It was a pivotal experience in my life. It was the perfect warm-up for what was to come.

My next brush with death came when I helped my mother die of cancer in 1998. It was a long, protracted ordeal, helping her on a daily basis was my full time job for about 7 months. This proved to be the ultimate event in my life so far. The expeience is strange to look back on now, it was both the best thing that ever happened to me, and the worst thing that ever happened to me. In that time, I was able to get very close to my mother, closer than we had ever been. That is the thing in my life that I cherish the most. That IS my life, in a nutshell. Everything else is just accompanying details. One of the last things my mother ever said to me was when she said, "Thank you for being my son."

If you want to know who I am, what I've done, and what is the redeeming value of my existence on this Earth, there's your answer.

With the passing of my mother, all I had left in this world was my brother, my sister, Uncle Bob and his clan, and two scraggly old cats, and some money my mother left us kids.

Bob Cox immediately started stealing the money and murdered both cats. He did this for revenge for something I DID NOT DO. To the contrary, I was always a loyal friend, the best friend he's ever had, and that's a fact. I don't really care about all that, to tell you the truth.

I'm a most devastated by my mother's death, but the murder of my two cats is high in the list. How someone could do such a thing, and not be totally ashamed of himself is beyond me. I cannot conceive how a 50+ grown man, a corporate executive and a miliionaire, could be so PROUD and ENCHANTED by such a dispicable act. The incredible greed is alarming, too. The amount of money he stole is chickenfeed to him, its NOTHING. He gave most of it away, or rather threw it away.

In spite of all that, I feel like I got off easy. I'M ALIVE. Others are not.

That's why it breaks my heart when I see a picture of my little sweetheart cat. I remember how she cried right befire she died. she was telling me she was going to die. I will never forget the sound of her little voice.



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