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From: Bud Zargood
Date: 12/30/99 - Time: 4:43:59 PM
Dateline: Hermillo Mexico Dec. 30, 1999 Strange events in this small Mexico community have caught the attention of the Anti-FTW taskforce and led to the immediate dispatch of our investigative team. Unbeliable terror has gripped this community at the prospect of even more visits by the "Chupacabra" a grotesquely mutated refugee from the vicious FTW drug experiments conducted by the infamous Dr. Anonymous in San Antonio Texas in the 1980's. Dr. Anonymous and his crock pot were resposible for many attrocities perpetrated upon the drug craving youths of that city, somewhat reminiscent of the Nazi WWII doctors. The Chupacabra, or goatsucker, is a phenomenon that started in mid 1995 in the mountains of Mexico. Something strange was killing all the livestock in and around Canovanas, draining all their blood. When the corpses were found, the blood had been drained through one or two small puncture wounds. "The wounds are usually about the diameter of a straw and three to four inches in length", claimed a local veterinarian who examined some of the corpses of the victims. The deaths were mysterious indeed, but it wasn't until September 1995 that the panic really set in. A housewife witnessed a chupacabra attack and described the beast as a fanged, kangaroo creature with evil red eyes. Another Canovanas witness, Misael Negron, described the creature as being "about three or four feet tall with skin like that of a dinosaur which made continual snorting noises. It had bright red eyes the size of hens eggs, long fangs and spikes down its head and back." It attacked the family goat, as it had done with so many others. Hence, the name Chupacabra. By November news was travelling beyond northern Mexico as reports of this goatsucker became more widespread. Luis Guadalupe described the creature as "ugly as a demon, and it flew through the air." He also stated that it had a "pointy, long tongue like a snake." What is this creature? Some say wolves, some vampires, some the devil, some think its origin is from the experiments of Dr. Anonymous. Mexico has been long thought to be a UFO hotspot. Rumors of secret US military bases and mysterious lights in the sky. What is going on in Mexico? Is it just a coincidence that the FTW Headquarters is located just to the North in Texas ? Only time will tell, but until then, the rumors and the fears of FTW involvement run rampant. It is claimed that the Chupacabra is accompanied by an unusually strong scent of sulphur, not unlike the demonic creatures of folklore and reminiscent of the odors Dr. Anonymous is associated with. Witness Madelyne Tolentino claimed, "it jumped like a kangaroo and smelled like sulfur." It has also been known, in some cases, to have supernatural strength. In one case, it allegedly tore a 16ft by 14ft iron gate off it's hinges to get to the animals. There has been rumor that the smell the creature emits is actually it's way of immobilizing the animals while it drains them of their blood. It is not only animals the creature is attacking, but also some humans. Angel Pulido, from Jalisco, reported getting bit by something that was "a giant bat which looked like a koala bear with claws". Also in Mexico, Teodora Reyes showed marks which were supposedly caused by the claws of the chupacabra. It's vampiric like qualities, it's penchant for lbloodsucking, have put quite a scare into the residents of Mexico. It is quite possible that the chupacabra hides somewhere in the daytime, most likely in caves, or underground. Unfortunately, especially in Mexico, there are miles of cave systems which seem to go on forever, making it almost impossible to hunt for the Chupacabra. There have been recent reports of the Chupacabra in California, Texas, Miami, Baja California, and the reports throughout Mexico are too numerous to mention. One of the first attacks in the U.S. was in Tuscon, Arizona where Billy Nubian's two goats were attacked by a creature in the middle of the night. He described it as a large "koala-like" creature, which when spotted, let out an "unhuman shriek, snorted" and ran away. In Texas, a dog was found with two puncture marks in the neck. So far, this is the only report from Texas. In Matamoros, there was apparently a bloodbath in terror when 69 farm animals were killed in one night. the animals belonged to two families living in the Aguadulce district, and they have even gone on television claiming it was a chupacabra. Even in Panama, the killings have occurred. Daisy Arauz claimed that the Chupacabra killed the family dog. Throughout the countryside are reports of dead animals with the puncture marks in their necks. Elizabeth Saavedra claimed she was attacked by a chupacabra in the middle of the night. In Brazil Apparently there has been quite a buzz recently about the Chupacabra. Our anti FTW agent in Brazil informed me of a program that aired on Brazilian televison on June 29th, 1997. There have been several spottings of the Chupacabras in Brazil. Two men were fishing at night when they spotted something coming out of the lake they they heard a continual snorting noise and they could see that it was a chupacabra. They shot at it and the creature disappeared into the night. Here in Hermillo we will continue to seek the creature so we can begin to bring this part of the vast FTW conspiracy to an end. The mayor of the town has fashioned a large cross from the local wood and tonight armed with this and numerous machetes we will go in search of the beast. From the front lines in the battle against FTW, this is your roving reporter: Bud Zargood.
ANTI POPEYE X FAN CLUB
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