Its Only Protoplasm... The Goo Of Life

From: Dr. DNA
Remote Name:
Date: 1/25/00
Time: 6:02:57 pm

Sick? Why is it sick? I think the re-animated corpse of a monster fetus is a marvelous way to promote conservative family values on the World Wide Web. What could be more Pro-Life than to "hot-wire" the protoplasm of an organism that died before it was even born? Its not as impossible as it might sound. With all the blindingly rapid progress being made on the Internet these days, is it too far fetched to jump at the chance of what is obviously an advertising goldmine?

"Sittin' right there, in front of your nose, it ain't supposed to be there, but that's how it goes... " - CHUG, 1983

Look what Alfred E. Neumann did for MAD magazine! And where would Fox-TV be without Bart Simpson? Buffalo Bob had Howdy Doody, or was it the other way around? I don't care! If they were puppet-boffing pump-a-loafers, brandishing dicks frought with splinters, humping holes in their neighbor's privacy fence on the 11 o'clock news, if they can do it, why can't I? Re-animation is the coming thing, there's even talk of a NEW Elvis being sewn together from the body parts of dead rock stars, as we speak! I believe his name is ELVIS 3, and he's already dazzling the industry at large with his autobiographical "mp3" download. Talk about GOO! That stuff is really sticky. Whatever you do, don't get anybody else's unverified GOO on your website's genitals, you'll be tweezer-plucking out cyber cactus, from now until Y3K. And don't let anyone get pregnant, especially not yourself! Its just a trick by your DNA, trying desperately to Spam its Own Sperm, and Win a Jackpot in the Genepool before it gets swallowed by an AOL merge.



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