Coffee Molecules
from Lynx -

I fell upon the caffeine molecule once in my organic chemistry class back when I was a good student on the verge of a burn out. Coffee, it is what made me survive those agonizing lectures. University professors, they have NO training on how to TEACH and yet they make loads of $$ doing it. All they care about is their little research in their little lab.

So once I snuck into one of those super labs. This one professor, I knew what his research topic was. He was creating diamond coating. Can you imagine that? DIAMOND coating. Now if you know anything about diamond, you will know that it is a highly ordered crystal and the slightest impurity will ruin the whole thing. You can imagine how controlled his experiments were. His lab, in fact, was locked with one of those combination door handles. It was easy for me to get the number, just spy on one of his grad students. They are so absorbed in their little test-tubes that they have no clue what is going on around them.

So in I was, walking around that lab, making sure there were no cameras. I figured there wouldn't be, after all, they are supposed to be on a really tight budget, and hell there was a COMBINATION handle on the door. So for SURE they thought the place was secure. I found the samples that were to be used for the actual diamond formation.

I didn't really have a plan on what I was going to do then. I looked at the whole thing, sipping my 10th large coffee of the day. Oh how good that coffee was... I dipped my finger into the coffee, opened one of the sample containers and let 1, 2, 3 drops of coffee fall off my finger into it. Then I left.

Next thing I knew, while falling asleep in that boring professor's class on materials, he said he had the best results EVER on his last batch of experiments and that he was unable to reproduce the experiment. He asked the class, as a problem solving exercise, to find 50 reasons why this could be.

My caffeine hypothesis was laughed at by everyone.



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