"nice person" or "monster"?

The Nice Monster-X 

An earnest and sincere Globelister actually asked me this:

How can a nice person create such a monster, and is that person truly capable of separating himself from it?

My perfectly diplomatic answer:

The answer is obvious, but I suppose its a fair question. How does a nice person seperate himself from the monster he has created? All you English majors out there will understand this in a split second. All you couch potato types still might have a rough time. All you Pop Idol Fascists (Fan Club Nazis) won't have a clue.

Dr. Popeye X is a fictional character. He exists in the mind. Kurt Otto is a writer. He exists in the "real" world, he votes, pays his taxes, and loves women and children, and they love him. He also respects the police, the law, and loves his country, the United States Of America, very, very much. Another thing about Kurt Otto you may have a hard time understanding is he likes to laugh, and he likes to make an audience laugh. He happens to think laughter is a healing force, so it doesn't bother his sense of civic duty in the least to help the cause of humor. His writings are designed to make ALL people laugh, men, women AND children. Not everything he writes is suitable for every single reader, but he writes so much, there's plenty to go around. He knows for a fact there are people laughing because the bulk of his e-mail response is people THANKING him for making their day a little brighter. When he gets the occasional "meathead" response, if its FUNNY, he folds it back into the story that made the reader angry in the first place.

Question: Was Edgar Allen Poe an axe murderer? Does Stephen King go around acting out the actions of characters in the stories he writes? Does Clive Barker sacrifice virgins in a pool of blood reciting Satanic rituals? All of these people are writers, they WRITE things that readers READ. When you read Moby Dick, is there actually a white whale popping up between the pages?

I hate to pop any good bubbles that are going on out there, but the Internet is not REALITY. It is a network allowing universal access to digitally encoded information. Dr. Popeye X is a figment of that digital information. He cannot be prosecuted, because he is FICTIONAL. You'll never be able to put Freddie Krueger in jail, either.

If Dr. PPX doesn't make you fall over holding your stomach with violent seizures of uncontrollable laughter, then you aren't getting what it was intended for. In that case, go read something you like, just like a book, magazine, or TV show. Just because something is delivered on the Internet doesn't mean its necessarily REAL. Just because Dr. Popeye X says something utterly stupid and outrageous, it doesn't mean that Kurt Otto agrees with him any more than you might. Kurt Otto is a sweetie guy, Dr. Popeye X is NOT. Kurt Otto might suggest you read something else, Dr. Popeye X will tell you to F__K OFF!

Hopefully I've cleared up a lot of misinformation with this explanation. If your concept of morality revolves around a Pop Singer Gestapo mentality, and blatant lying seems like a justifiable way to fight any opposing opinion you might have, then there's no doubt in my mind you won't have any idea what I've just said, but that's OK with me, its you're right, and Kurt Otto respects that. I guess you know what Dr. PPX would say.



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