More Beans?


Jimmy Crack-Cornhole
216.198 ::: 000607 ::: 23:39

to thraam from ppx Re: BOOBATUBEAMUS!

this needs a logo where the letters are bulbous, and downwardly drooping, like a slightly melted eggplant couch potato font, with open festering bedsores from laying on the raw Herculon foldout bed fibers, for decades of mindless clones and reruns, Afro Americans performing Jewish comedian jokes in a conversational family situation, and then there's the shackin' up sit com formula, it releases a lot of the more Ozzie and Harriet aspects that Eight Is Enough already wore out, shackin' up sitcoms are easier to write for, look at "Family Of Five", or "Three's Company" compared to "Eight Is Enough" and "Bonanza"... yeah Bonanza's been getting real humorous, Hoss and Little Joe crack me up, the way they go around dispensing all that morality and wit using only their fists, their firearms, and the company of good ol' American Guys, slappin' fives, huggin' each other, loving each other, sucking each other off in a telegraph shacks, like Brothers In The Old West, and a benevolent Paw to give it that Father Knows Best feel of elderly calm and financial order....

Now there's a FONT! Bonanza BURNED onto the screen with horses and prairie guitar orchestrations...

And the smell of leather fills the room as four strapping cowpokes eat beans around the fire and swap old horse stories, mendin' fences, doin' chores, and bein' "much obliged" about pert near everything.... and all the ladies are either raggeddy antbed, toothless scarecrows, or high class whores "with a good heart", a mind for business, and a big dot drawn on their cheek like Madonna signifying they's all sluts... All this town really needs now is a Lady Doctor and a Chinese guy to run the Chuckwagon...

More beans? How about some whiskey?

Let's gamble and spend the money we win on whores, and we'll top the night off by killin' us a meskin or a n___ ...nevermind these psychotronic projections of frontier gibberish, let's make the good guys wear white hats, and the black guys wear bad hair... you can beat me to a pulp in a saloon as long as there's 30 or 40 guys doing it at once, but don't you touch my horse... that's a hangin' offence... no law against it necessary a horse thief gets hung way before he can get himself arrested. You can dance with my gal, drink outta my canteen, share my beans, and even do huge 'bongstyle' inhalations off my sleeping bag when I'm letting out them Ranch Style flatulations in the bunkhouse late at nite...

I got the Buffalo Butter Bean Farts so bad one night, I grabbed ol' Wishbone's mouth organ, and played three rounds of "Dixie" thru the crack in my chaps! *beaming proudly* I'm learnin' "Jimmy Crack Corn" next!



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