Texas Muzik

from: Mugtoe
6:00:40 PM

Did I mention that Texxass makes the best fukkin muzik in the Gawddamnd world?

Somewhere at my mom's house I still have an old 45 of Mouse & the Traps doin "Public Execution" from the mid-60s. I never realized that that was Bugs Henderson's band at the time. I like the Texas Tornadoes too. I like makin "Guacamole" too.

I still wish we had all that ignorant, dumbass, wide-open spaced, rusted-and-dented-pickuped, miles-of-nothin-but-bad-local-AMed, rednecked, "you ain't from 'round here are ya"ed, kinda state. But we got growth. We got fukkin touristas who wanna cum down here and tell us how fukked up we are. Don't they think we know how fukked up we are? Who appointed them to the "Let's Make Texas More Friendly To Outsiders" committee?

I miss bein able to walk outside the VFW hall at dusk in Henrietta and pop caps at buzzards and smoke dope without nobody sayin shit about it while all them ugly women are dancin inside. Betcha can't do that nowadays.

I wonder if there's a big enough place down around Uvalde or somethin where I can wander out in the piece a shit truck of mine and just be a fukkin hermit for a year or two. As long as I can stay plugged into the Net, I don't have to look at all those fukkers who are pilin into town talkin bout how backwards we all are down here.

If I move outta here, the first thing I'm gonna do is complain loud and long how FUKKED up it is up north, and how you can't get any FUKKIN decent Mezkin food anywhere in that frozen wasteland that's so GAWDDAMND progressive. Problem with those fukkers is that they don't ever have to fukkin sweat. Why did I have to fall in love with a fukkin yankee? I didn't lose nothin up there. I ain't gonna take nothin with me if they lemme go. I'm just gonna stay long enough me to get sick of him or him to shoot me, and then I'm cummin back to somewhere in far South Texas where I don't know a motherfucker and they know what good grease and bad beer looks like. Think you can get Pearl in MN? Fukk no. Think you can get a decent taco lengua up there? FUKK NO. Think you can get decent mota up there? No, seriously, I'm askin straight up. :o)



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