Re: bong before bedtime

from: Ed_Zeppelin
11:44:20 AM

You raised a particular issue there that I had to deal with at one time. My waff doesn't touch weed. For years she told me she was allergic, which I took to be horseshit since she's from Scotland and everybody knows their "food" is all designed to be eaten on a dare. If she was allergic to anything, eating weird fucking things like cock-a-leekie (how's that for an appetizing name for a foodstuff?) or some concoction of oats, onions and the stuff they shovel off the floor after late shift at the slaughterhouse would have caused her to show signs of "sensitivity," I figured.

I popped her a special brownie once and a half-hour later she looked like PPX after a normal weekend, all swollen and pukey. I'll be damned, she IS allergic.

This incident I was referring to was with an old live-in girlfriend when I was getting an Ed_Ucation. She kind of took over the "supply" of both weed and pussy, since she figured if she had one she could control the other.

She, too thought that the only time to smoke was just before bedtime. It drove me nuts for awhile until I got to that "Oh, fuck you" stage in our relationship and started buying my own supply that I didn't tell her about.

That worked out for about a month until she found it while doing the laundry and I lied, of course ("I got it for you, sugartits! It was supposed to be a surprise!"), and used that "disappointment" to start smoking in front of her.

Every time she gave me a hard time about it, I'd fall back on the "you hurt my feelings" bullshit and it worked like a charm. Then I took to stashing the bedtime toke right out of the bong, just wadded it up and left it on the nightstand, saying something like "I'll just do this in the morning" and it was the killer stroke, because in the morning sure as shit she would want to smoke, too.

Then I arranged for us to watch "Annie Hall" together, because of the whole scene where she talks about having to get high before bed. That broached the subject and we were able to take it from there. I told her that the only way I could stay awake on long drives was to have a toke, as a male it had exactly the opposite effect on me. SHE BOUGHT IT! Yee-haw!

On the hole, though, I'd rather have a woman who doesn't smoke at all. I'm down to about a quarter per YEAR, I shit you not. Meanwhile I never have to share, ever. I'm even training one of my pups to sniff out weed, so I can find out if any of my friends are holding out on me. Pretty cool.



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