Who left the "C" off "Rap Music?"

Who left the "C" off "Rap Music?"

from: Ice_EZ
3/28/01
5:59:34 AM
172.180.181.71

For some reason people of my generation aren't big on rap music. Some of us even consider the phrase "Rap Music" to be an oxymoron. But I like it.

I don't listen to it, mind you, and any car going by thumping it out open windows will face the frowning of a lifetime from yours truly, but I like it anyway.

Its a way of people getting revenge on the English language by using it as a bass drum. Plus the rappers all get to have names like "Ice Pee" and "Arm-in-arm." That's not why I like it, though.

I like it because it doesn't take any talent, just a rhyming dictionary and a drum machine. This is something I can do. I can point various combinations of my fingers at the camera, crouch and wave my arms and make those kind of faces my mother warned me could "freeze like that." I can wear clothes that are actually baggier and more tasteless than what they cover up.

I can get anorexic groupies to bang their pelvises against me and rhythmically feel their own bodies like they're checking themselves for warts.

Then have them edit it into epileptic seizure-inducing scene cuts so fast and discombobulating that it gives speedfreaks a headache.

I can call myself "Ice_EZ" or "Master EZ Jamm" and start my own line of clothing and fuck whatever is left of Jennifer Lopez' brains out, as if that's difficult. (After seeing what she wore to the Oscars, all I can say is "get in line!" I think I actually smelled her Bartholin's Glands right through the TV.)

I could be huge, man.

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