Re: Now not just a rumor

from: Ed_Zeppelin
3:11:52 AM

My wife will be pleased to hear I'm gay. She knows how much I hate shopping, and she knows I can't figure out whether or not to wear green pants with orange-striped shirts etc. Now that I'm gay, maybe I'll be stylish for a change. (Hell, where she comes from, green pants and orange plaid shirts ARE stylish!)

No more Clint Eastwood for me, from here on out its LIZA and BARBRA! Shaving will take a lot longer, of course. Let's see... really, I can't see a downside to being gay, other than having to listen to old Village People albums, and having to deal with the pesky problem of not being attracted to men. Oh well, at least I'll get to deal with people who have more basic CLASS than to think that merely calling someone "gay" is an insult, especially in this century.

See, maladroits like you (go ahead, look it up. We'll wait) are afraid of gays not because of who they are, but what they DO. Personally, I don't care either way. The only assholes I deal with are pathetic ones like you.

You're probably one of those dipshits who miss their Mama so bad they go out and find some horrible fat bitch with big tits who yells just like your Mama did at you, when you wet the bed, maybe even dump your equally hideous wife for her. Nah, nobody could be THAT stupid.

That doesn't appeal to me either.

In fact, way way down on my list of things that I would consider "cool," were I to be cruising the net after midnight trying to find something I could yank my pathetic appendage to, would be;

1. Going to a website where you can enter "www.****.is.gay.com" and, while giggling to myself; "huh huh, ah shore got him. Shee it, ah's funny. Nuuuuh," lodge that booger you just dug out of your pockmarked nose onto the underside of the milk crate you have your Packard Bell parked on, and

2. Not being able to come up with something amusing on my own, use a fucking SCRIPT, to call somebody obviously more talented, handsome and humorous than me "gay" as an insult...

Yeah, that's the ticket. God, I hope I have the dignity to put a .38 in my mouth and ventilate my skull before I get that fucking desperate for attention.

As John Belushi said; don't fuck with eagles unless you can fly, kid. If you can't come up with something with something more creative than cutting-and-pasting a scripted URL about gays, maybe you should think about admitting your fascination with doo-doo now, since your mental capacity seems not to have advanced anywhere along the evolutionary line between apes and Bulgarians.

Maybe you should have listened to your Mother more. (When she wasn't barking and chasing cats, that is.)


PS: "Now not just a rumor." The one part you wrote yourself, and you even fucked THAT up!



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