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My Secret Love
from: B_F Dear Diary, Yesterday, my secret love and I managed to sneak away for some pie and a little nookie. That cunt Clara almost saw us. I was leaving the station headed for the back room down at the fillin' station, where G. has an old army cot set up. I got him some new sheets and the old wool blanket doesn't smell too bad, and it's the only place my secret love and I can get away. It's dank and smells like old oil and G. whacks off at least ten times a day (that boy ain't right, y'know), so it kind of has that old clorox funk of semi-dry cum and Quaker State 30-weight. Anywho, Clara was coming out of the market and saw F. and H. chewin' the fat in front of the barbershop, and about that time A.B., my secret love, came out of the beauty parlor where she had just had a new coat of blue stuff applied to her hair. I saw her from across the street and winked at her, and she ducked her head in that cute way she has. I got a big stiffy and started heading her off, when that gold-plated bitch Clara started yelling at her "yoo hoo!" to get some fresh bullshit gossip going about the school committee or some goddamn thing. God, everyone thinks B.'s such a sweet old gal, making pies for everybody all the time and making sure O. gets off to school and A. has a clean, pressed uniform. But I know better. The woman is a guaranteed, galvanized fuck-machine. She sucks like a brand new Kirby, and let me tell you, she ain't afraid to take it in any available hole. She's insatiable, yelling my name into the night air so loudly sometimes I think G. will hear and come runnin' in to see what I'm doing to her in the back room. She likes it a little rough, too. I like to get her stripped and buns-up on that old army cot, with her ass in the air and her winkin' pink brownie-cake just quiverin' at me all juicy like, I smack her big butt a couple o' times and I like to lean over and whisper in her ear; "someday, when I'm Sherriff, I'm gonna lock you up for being such a fucking slut, Bea. I'm gonna let Otis slobber all over yer baggy old titties and fuck you in the ass. But for now, you're MINE!" Then I whip out my trusty one-shooter and aim the head at that big pile of juicy sliced ham and ram 'er home good. She sets up a-howlin' "Barney! Barney! OH MY GOD BARNEY, FUCK ME!" for a few seconds and then I spray pecker-snot up her whoopie-chute and make faces like Howard does with Sherriff An... (I better not say. I still wonder what happened to Mrs. Taylor, if you foller me.) Afterwards we have pie and I play "the old home place" on my Jew's harp. |
ANTI POPEYE X FAN CLUB
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