home life

from: popeye-x
11/4/01-3:01:56 PM-63.162.8.193

DAD rants and raves as MOM
nods her head dutifully,
ignoring every word...
she's heard it all before...

 ...I'll keep the house, but you gotta get the kids outta here cuz my g/f with good shoes is moving in with her kids and all their shoes. You and the kids should just leave and get your own house, I need this one for someone who's magnificent buttox takes up a lot more space than yours, she needs the kid's rooms for that other guy's kids. Get your OWN friggin' house, like I did! I got this one from MY parent's LAND, I'm in their family, I have ops, you don't! Don't wave that meaningless piece of paper in my face, its not even HTML, I own a DAL-net channel, its the only place my g/f feels like she's been living all her life already. She's doing ME, the OWNER, and we need this house for a place to run the cable to go online with, soooo... just go away! Preferably this Thanksgiving weekend, after One Last Trip To Disneyland As A Family, for the kids sake. Miss Cleo has the personnel situation all ironed out now, waiting around for that to happen is the only reason you've been able to live here so long. That has been resolved as of the end of this month, no, you DON'T get two weeks notice... the Tarot cards say its time for you to go... ASAP! They never lie! I hate liars! That's why I always tell the truth! Just go live somewhere else, ok? We don't even like the same furniture, [but go ahead and leave it all here, that other guy's kids need some furniture to sit on, for now anyway]. Just pack up your tacky clothes and the kids computers, and go live with some fucking old people somewhere! Don't you have somebody you can leech off of who cares about you? This is MY house, not YOURS! You just thought it was your house because you've been freeloading here all along with me, the kids, and that meaningless piece of paper that doesn't even prove we're in love. Have you EVER been to my chat channel? Huh? Do you even know what IRC is? HA! See how stupid you are? You don't have a clue OR a leg to stand on, so please hop the fuck outta here and go find ONE good shoe, ok? I know its an UGLY PROCESS, but its worth it in the end, besides, Miss Cleo is ready for the big move out West, so.... skip to my loo and go get you a room at the Tropicana... that is, IF you have any class at all, which I doubt. Get a cabana by the adult pool, post it on the Churn, and the rest will be history. Knowing you, you'll probably stay at the Ramada Inn, like the low life you truly are. If you need a home base, make a web page for Christ's sake. Yahoo has plenty of personal home pages available if you'd just get off your ass and learn some HTML. We are so incompatible. I like laying around watching sports, you don't. I like chatting in IRC, you don't. I like working in the garden, you don't. We don't even like the same furniture! If you and the kids stay here, I'll be stuck living with you the rest of my life! That's going to fuck up my g/f's timeline completely! I can't possibly let that happen any longer! She's waited long enough. I don't want to lose her. She's ALL I've got, she's the ONLY one who understands me, likes the same furniture, and loves to lay around watching sports like I do. In fact, she likes EVERYTHING I do, and she's happy to be doing it with me at all times. I am the only thing in her life... she's all I've got left. This is an UGLY PROCESS, but have you seen her perm? She even bought us matching pants for the Space Needle. She's the only one who understands me, and I'm all she'll ever need to understand... I wouldn't even want to chat without her by my side, on the other end.
So GET THE FUCK OUT!!! 

[ding dong...]

DAD: What's that? The doorbell?
 Who could that be at this hour?

MOM [squints out the front door peephole]:
"Its that fat woman we saw sleeping in the station wagon behind the 7-11, remember? The toothless hag with the bad perm... She says she wants to talk to somebody named 'The Bat'.... should I call the police?"

DAD [makes a beeline for his MAC]:
Better dial 911... I'll be in the computer room, I need to check that ebay auction I've been bidding on....