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from: I only wrote it... over 20 years ago
29 Mar 2004
12:14:04
dialup252-211.dotcomisp.net
you're the fucking reader, it was already written in 81-85, in 3 minute bursts it doesn't make sense to not upload it so it can be read by people who want to read it, like YOU, if it WASN'T a website, it would have been a waste of time, its only minutes, NOT YEARS, but its minutes that have already passed, so making it into a website to be read is a really lucky opportunity, don't you think? what do you mean by "get a life"? was I dead when I wrote it? actually I was high, about to fall on my face, I wrote it, bit by bit, incoherently, when I could write no more, I stopped, it was just way to laugh a little bit, right before being stone cold asleep. I don't understand at all what your age comment is supposed to mean. Are you saying "if you didn't die yet, could you at least act like a grown up by shutting your mouth and doing what you're told"? Imagine how degenerated our lives have become... we write shit and then LAUGH at it. That is so immature and undignified, isn't it? An person who has grey hair shouldn't do things like scream "GO FUCK YOURSELF!" in someon'es face, in broad daylight. It sets a bad example for the other OLD people? That's not true at all. I've heard laughter is the BEST medicine, so saying this is the most asinie website you've ever seen is a compliment, think about it, there are a LOT of asinie websites in the world, and THIS is the MOST asinine? Coool. I'm not just saying that. I mean every molecule of it, from the bottom of my heart. You can believe me or not, I could care less what you believe. I truly wish you understood the depth, the compasion, the sheer honesty of that statement. I am telling YOU straight up no tricks, no lies, no deception, no put downs, I'm going to laugh until the day I die, I hope I never lose my snap. I just spent a week scribbling my Uncle's non-stop hilarity, it was FUN! He told my aunt he enjoyed every minute of it. He's 76, his health ain't what it used to be, I know this for a fact: sitting around cutting up with me and gut-laughing for 6 days non-stop was good for BOTH OF US. If you walked by, butted your nose in our business, and told my uncle he's old and pathetic and should get a life... I'm not exaggerating at all, you'd be lucky to get out of that situation with your ass in tact. I have a felling he would take you down a few notches verbally, and if you so much as grazed by and TOUCHED him at all, even by accident, you'd be picking your face up off the ground. I'm noy just saying that either, he doesn't take shit off of anybody. He has enough sense to not even bother looking at this site, I show him things, he laughs when I'm quoting him, but he's laughing because he can't believe I'm writing it down, That doesn't mean he doesn't LIKE it. He laughed way to much to be a man who's having a bad time. What's wrong with a 76 year old guy who's worked hard all his life to provide for his family having a little fun being silly and talking shit with his nephew who idolizes him, and looks and acts just like him, even down to the bald head and hazel eyes? Here's tip for you: If you tried out your disrespect on my Uncle, one of us would FUCK YOU UP, asshole. He'd probably let you slide and walk away, I wouldn't, nether would Holz. In fact, if it were me and Holz standing right in front of you, and you talked this shit to Uncle Bob, calling him old, and saying he should get a life... YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'D BE NEEDING A LIFE, and that ain't even a snappy answer. Its a fact. Cuz I'd break your goddamn neck myself, with my bare hands. The worst thing that could happen is if you decided to kick my ass, on the spot. You wouldn't make it. Uncle Bob would shoot you in the fucking head, on the spot. And again, that ain't big talk, that's a fucking FACT. Ask anybody. Lemme tell you a little bit about Holz. He don't give fuck what you think, what you say, or what you say you think you do. He doesn't care about you, at all. I would step to you, I'd be one inch from your face. I'm not a big, strong muscle bound intimidating gorilla type goon, I'm small, lightweight, fast, just about everybody is bigger than me or stronger than me. But I've been in more fights than all of y'all put together. Why is that? Every palooka sees me for the first time, they hear me talking, they see guys and girls laughing at what I say, they see really pretty girls actually paying attention to me because I'm making them crack up. I'm not trying to FUCK them, I'm enjoying them for who they are, without any gender or racial prejudice in any way, shape, or form. When they respond to what I say, I remember their exact words, 10 seconds later I make my words tie in with their words, and its FUNNY. They eat that shit up, they know damn well I'm just winging it, not throwing out preset lines from an old George Carlin album, or something. It might be a pretty girl who was young a long time ago. It doesn't make any difference to me, I treat them just as if they were 22 years old, I flirt with them, I tease them, I practise my technique on them so I can learn more about the mysteries of the world most puzzling secret... a woman's brain. The palooka I mentioned above would be observiing me winning over this girl like gangbusters. How can she even KNOW him? He dresses like a bum, she's a high class mature woman, but around him she is uninhibited and spontaneous. To make an endless story short, this palooka who dislikes me from-the-get-go is going to be increasingly irritated by my "luck", its really annoying when a scumbag gets all the glory, expecially when he's a little shit with a big, mouth who's full of himself. Worst of all, he's a rude, fealess little son of a bitch who could get his neck broken real fast if he's not careful. This palooka would make up his mind he's going to shut me up because it looks so easy its pathetic, and he would A<MOST be right. REMEMBER, I'm talking about Holz not giving a fuck, and me talking shit right in your face, and making bystanders laugh at your expense. I'm good at that skill, I could easily have to doing it to ypurself, with me just nudging the ball occasionally, I'd tie you up in verbal knots and you'd lose your temper and probably pick a good suckerpunch point. Jere's the deal. Holz would see that coming a mile away. He'd say something to me, warning me that I'm getting near the edge, of course I know damn well that's what I'm doing, and eventually, YOU, the palooka who doesn't really know me, would decide to pull my card, but that's not what would happen, not at all..Because Holz would deck you before he'd let you fuck me up, and if you tried to get up too soon, you wouldn't get up at all, because I'd do something really ruthless, like bash your fucking brains out your eye sockets with a 22oz. framing hammer, and I wouldn't even give a FUCK about slitting your throat while you're out. FUCK YOU, bitrch. What do you say now?
