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seek some counselling?

from: help me
29 Mar 2004
17:29:16
dialup252-192.dotcomisp.net

hello? hello? you don't know me, but... did I tell you about my latest webpage? ...oh, sorry, I ran off the track there... helllo? is this the suicide hotline? no? ...its not? what is it then? the homicide hotline? no? the what? the sue-ee sue-ee sue-ee pig line? what kind of hotline is that? I need some HELP, goddamnit... I have a serious problem... complete strangers are approaching me with unsolicited suggestions... I don't know... its a STRANGER... ok, its ONE alleged stranger... not just about me... this other guy, too... he's sayin' it about both of us... he said our last names... I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! yeah, he got the names right... I guess he's not a stranger... no, he's not a friend... I don't knoooooow.... he might be gay, what fucking difference does that make? I don't care if he gets his kicks sucking raw dog donkey lady dildos thru a wino's poop chute, I NEED SOME HELP!!!.... he's saying bad stuff about my dot-com... but it hurts my feelings... I don't knoooow... no, I wasn't thinking about killing myself, I was thinking about boinking myself... you know... spanking the monkey, pounding mi pinche, wankin' me slinky... you know... no, I ain't a limey! I ain't a a froggie, neither! is this the goddman hotline or not? ...PIG STAND? isn't that a leather bar for cops? PANCAKES? sorry, I think I got the wrong number... do I WHAT?... that's what I thought you said... uh...I guess not... uh.... well, 1. I'm not gay... 2. I have no idea where your mouth has been... HELL, NO.. I'm not sticking my dick ANYWHERE, especially not on your goddamn pancakes, you filthy bastard, who is this? ...you ain't no friend of mine, you sick fuck... yeah, as a matter of fact, I DO HAVE A NICE COCK... pink... there's a mole on the top... the shaft... I've been told its "pretty"... NO!.... fuck no.... women tell me that.. the only man that has touched my cock was a dermatologist... and also this other doctor, for a spinal cord operation.... he was sticking my dick and balls and everything else with a safety pin... I don't know what they call him, I called him the "punkrocker"... he also stuck his finger up my ass... no, I didn't check his identification... I just assumed he knew what he was doing... he had the right rubber gloves and a stethoscope and the white coat... he was too much of an asshole to be bogus... hey, what is all this bullshit? I need COUNSELLING! .... uh, I don't know... we just played Piggly Wiggly 16 Art Space last thursday... yeah... yeah... KNOW HIM? we're great friends, he GAVE me a painting after our show... yeah, GAVE it to me, he said, "pick one out, I'd like to give you one"... uh, I don't have an itinerary in front of me... HIX... H-I-X..... Claude Morgan, only its Butch now.... yeah, that's me... yep... all the weird noize... I'm the noize guy... you'll have to check the site, I don't fucking know... when we're playing at the gig I haven't the slightest idea what's coming next... well, we have lists, but I never look at one... no, I don't know, and I don't care, I think I play better if I don't know what's going on,... like I heard Robert Fripp say one time, "If I knew what was going to happen next, it wouldn't be worth it"... Tower Records in Austin... no, it was just Fripp and 2 Revox A77's... yeah, a Frippertronics tour I guess... Fripp is too cool, he's a little shit, like me... he just SOUNDS BIG... ok.... I'll try... nice meeting you too... what's your name?... ok... yeah, HIX, H-I-X... ok, bye (click) its so hard to get decent help these days, you call what's supposed to be a crisis hotline, to get some help, seeking councelling so you can have a real life, and the faggot answering the phone wants to suck your dick, and then he finds out you play in a band he's seen and LIKES, before you can even explain why you dialed the hotline, he wants to know about upcoming gigs, etc. at first I was getting a ration of shit and cruel mockery, now I'm the motherfucker's hero.... I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

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