2004's Darwin Awards

2004's Darwin Awards

from: Stash
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[2004's Darwin Awards - an annual honor given to the person who did the gene pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most extraordinarily stupid way.] ......................---------------------------.................... A young man needed to get drunk cheap because he had no money. He decided on the next best thing after alcohol, he mixed gasoline with milk. His creative concoction made him ill and he promptly threw up into his home's fireplace. The resulting explosion and fire burned down his house and killed him and his sister. .....................---------------............................ Three men were flying in an aircraft at low altitude when they decided to have a little fun with the occupants of another plane in the air. While they mooned the passengers of the other plane, they lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants firmly placed around their ankles. .........................---------------------............................ A man was killed when he attempted to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70 foot railroad trestle. Police said Eric Barcia taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, and made his big jump right into the pavement. A police spokesman said the length of the cord was longer than the distance between the trestle and the ground. Cause of death was ruled as "major trauma." ........................-----------------------....................... Famous last words - "Let's play catch with a rattlesnake." While two men were throwing the reptile back and forth during a game of catch, one of the men died from rattlesnake bites. His friend was hospitalized with antivenin injections, but survived. It seems the rattler had used up most of its venom on his pal. ...........................--------------------------....................... AND THE WINNER..... After making a bet with fellow members of his foursome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in the ball washer at a local golf course. He managed to straddle the washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. One of his buddies decided to up the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. To make matters even worse, the washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer and the rotating machinery inside.

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