"Demons Are Democrats."

from: "Alfred Rock"

"Demons Are Democrats." "Alfred Rock" of rural Kansas is a staunch supporter of George Bush. That's why he has festooned his 2-acre yard with Bush for President signs, right along the highway where passing motorists can't avoid them if they want to. Alfred, a widower who needs a cane to walk, has decided to do everything in his power to get Mr. Bush re-elected. With his yard full of signs, he feels he is doing his part. "You know, the power of advertising," he told me in a phone interview, "If I can convert just one person as they drive past my home, I feel like I've made a major contribution to the Bush campaign. Plus, I get a kick out of sitting in my rocking chair and watching all those liberals get hopping mad as they catch sight of my display. Some of those rude folks give me a certain hand sign, but I just laugh and wave back. I do this from dawn to dusk and then head back in the house to watch the news until I fall asleep. One time I nodded off after having removed the flag from out- side the door. A couple of hours later I woke up to feel Old Glory warming my body like the most patriotic lap blanket in the world. I plumb broke down and cried." But it was that very night that Alfred's signs were attacked for the first time... "It was like someone had cut through there with a scythe. Three dozen signs were torn to ribbons. I blamed pranksters at first, then decide that it was the work of Democratic Party operatives. I called their local headquarters to lodge a protest and received the most surprising response. Even though they are dead set against Mr. Bush, several of them volunteered to assist the Republican folks in replacing the signs. I fixed them all my homemade hard apple cider and ginger cookies using my deceased wife's recipe. We had a great time, laughing and singing patriotic tunes. I didn't think Democrats and Republicans could get along so well." But despite the coming together of the local political community, the vandalism continues. Over 200 Bush for President signs have been destroyed in Alfred's yard—even though volunteers armed with hunting rifles patrol the area every hour or so. Says Alfred, "I've concluded that it's the work of a demon, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Flesh and blood human Democrats may be okay people, but when they pass over to the Other Side, they revert to their true demonic nature. I believe that a hard core Democrat who was frustrated in this world, perhaps because he lost an election, is lashing out from the spirit world against my political signs."



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