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from: Puke on your Birkenstocks
c-24-22-34-71.hsd1.or.comcast.net
05-04-05
08:18:22
Fuck, I remember the last time I spilled my guts. It was the same day all those people in Guyana killed themselves, though it had absolutely nothing to do with that. Unless it was just something that was going around that day, because I tried to do the same thing with a bottle of Jose Quervo Gold. Fuck. It was horrible. I was washing down a bag of Nacho Cheese (the reply of a black child to someone who tries to take their cheese; "hey! That's nacho cheese!") which was a really horrible thing to do because I didn't realize the sandpaper-like quality the bolus of masticated fried corn gruel, rotgut tequila and digestive juices would have upon my poor unsuspecting esophagus and larynx later on that day. I talked like a frog for a week and never touched that shit again. Really, to this day the only other time I've ever gotten drunk enough to throw up was when my future Father-in-law threw shots of single-malt down me in a Scottish bar in Edinburgh and then forced a fish-and-chips dinner down on top of it. That was a junior Mt. St. Helens in the waiting, let me tell you. Good thing I made it to the sink first thing when we got back to the hoose, or that particular "sidwalk pizza" (as the Scots call it when you hurl on the sidewalk on your way home, because of the way it looks) would probably still be visible, etched into the pavement. I can't imagine how much truly weird shit I've avoided in 30+ years of playing music in bars, if not for three-quarters of a fifth of Tequila (you do the math) and a bag of Doritos back in the 70's. Nowadays they have those blue agave tequilas, though, and I've tasted them but it's still a long way off from holing up in a fleabag motel with a bottle of Reservado and a bag of pumice chips. Like I've always said, what do I need alcohol for? I'm already an asshole!
