wrong! that would be YOUR worst nightmare

from: you'd see her face

The only way I can describe how fucking UGLY this woman is would be to compare her to the ugliest guy you've ever seen... he would look PRETTY compared to this "thing with a pussy". Now, I'm a grown man, I've BEEN to San Francisco, I've seen knobby kneed, HIDOUSLY UGLY homosex-u-alz, hobbling down the street like disjointed jackasses, without one molecule of femininty to their names, but they had on great miniskirts, and great makeup, and great wigs, and shoes, and earrings, false eyelashes, and not caked on to the point of a clown, but rather done JUST RIGHT, from an art point of view. I COULD see the sandblasted acne scars under the pancake makeup when the sun would hit their faces just right, plus their teeth were all snaggly hillbilly, I guess from sucking too many restroom dicks... but if I just sort of glanced at them out of the corner of my eye, and LOOKED AWAY as fast as my eyes would roll, I could swear, somewhere down in the swirling vomit of my diseased soul, for one split second I fell for it... "alright!~ - look at the slutty.... fags. ewwww, grosss.... did you see that? oh, my god, I ALMOST wanted to fuck them!" I SAID ALMOST, GODDAMNIT!!!!! It ain't my fault, I've been programmed by the Barbie Nazis to be an obedient, knee jerk Ken doll... drooling bearing flowers, jewelry, and the whole nine yards of "gee, it feels so natural just spending HOURS with you talking about absolute banal bullshit, we're so compatible.... here, take my money and my time and most of all... MY LOVE... " followed by a few well rehearsed tears and "I've never been so HAPPY in my life... " Then I whip out the acoustic guitar and we sit on lawn chairs in the trailer park as I croon HOTEL CALIFORNIA, the 17 verses version! I have just described the lovely couple next door, no, I do not make this shit up. I only left out one kind of "unpleasant" detail.... "I bought Kurt a Big Red..." you know how alcoholics always spill their guts, so you KNOW how sincere they are... This motherfucker is what a scientist would call BLIND DRUNK, because his wife... is uglier than... than... than... all I can think of to say is the duct tape on Dave's Hammer, and the puddle of sweat soaked into the couch arm, where the guy who ISN'T GAY, Dave, perched while mainlining crystal meth and complimenting Mugtoe's "way with words". She's MUCH uglier than that. You are hereby BOTH invited over ANYTIME to see for yourself.. you simply won't believe your epileptic eyeballs... my neighbor, the husband, is the sexual equivalent of the lowly but grateful opossum, a creature who's key to survival is hogging like a contented pig on the dead slime and excrement NOBODY would even think about GOING NEAR, much less slurping on it like its maggot flavored yogurt, with a sprig of hairball on the side. I hear she sucks a mean dick.... hey Mugtoe, tell Sigmo he has STIFF competition at the Hotel Fornicalia... come get you some, smalls, there's no sense in being lonely... me and Never Forget know when to gracefully bow out and leave you two "pole"-tergeists alone..Even a stink bug deserves a little something to call its own. Hey, Mugtoe... fuck my neighbors wife... and I'll suck your dick, and throw in another $1.29, to sweeten the pie. She's in trailer #5... COME ON DOWN!!!!!!



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