Popeye-X Is A Walking, Talking, Human Polygraph Lie Detector

From: is he really that much of a dickhead? ::: 05-09-24 ::: 12:53:28

artwork by s. ingramYes and No. :)
The Truth? NO, of course not.
The Facts? YES, and don't you never forget it, neither.

What I do is one part instinct, one part psychic "mind reader", one part social mathematician specializing in "friction analysis", and about four parts Verbal Volleyball Champion/Veteran, and don't forget, I got my PhD in Fucknology, and my honorary doctorate in thinking on my feet while talking thru my ass from Keep The Ball Rolling University.

I also did my internship in the field, where I gained invaluable hands on experience by lab rat testing multiple Christian "friends" on a daily basis for decades. Being an improvising musician since my early teens didn't hurt at all, in terms of pattern recognition and accurate recall of exact wording.

I'm kind of a facial ticks buff, too, not that its necessary to detect whoppers, but I am intrigued by the seemingly infinite variations the human face can make while lying thru its so-called teeth, even when they aren't present.

(the teeth may be long gone, but the lies seem to never run out.)

I spent my formative years slopping toilets at Johnny Moodswing Talkaholic Ministries, mastering the subtle art of switching from happy to sad, sad to happy, sappy to been had, and just damn glad I had a string of lying cunts to practice on. I got it DOWN, peeps, I can even tell when my cat is masquerading as another less claw prone Jeckle and Hide bitch in disguise.

Cops know these tricks, so do good lawyers, but of course, moms know them the best.... I'll never be that good.... but I'm still pretty good.

One reason is my natural aversion to trying and retrying to figure out what I can't seem to figure out. Why bother? Run a statistical test on the confusion itself, not the details, but rather the cut and dried Yes Or No qualities of its presence. I even measure the PERSISTENCE of the question marks, due to their rapid half life, the ones that will not go away couldn't endure unless they were consciously and meticulously being maintained by SOMEBODY who's definitely keeping them alive.

This dips into the realm of INTENTION nicely. Lies don't tell themselves automatically, nor do victims of lies deliberately hurt themselves to perpetuate the lies that are hurting them. This is all about hurting the other person, not the liar.

Lovers and spouses and family members provide wonderful data to be researched, but nothing can quite match the GOLDMINE OF STUDY provided by The LYING CHRISTIANS and their telltale vindictiveness. They're always ready to forgive me, but hardly any of them can do a convincing "I'm truly sorry.  Please accept my apology" It just rubs them wrong for some reason.

I guess it IS rather annoying when I read their faces, check their wording, and one second later say right into their lying Christian eyes:

"You're a motherfucking LIAR."

They think, gaaaa, what a NON CHRISTIAN DICKHEAD HE IS! They forget I might be doing a little acting to gauge their response to being falsely accused.

When someone is being truthful, and an intense prick like myself won't believe them, the look of pain is un-fake-able. Its so unjust to tell the truth and still be hammered like that, and that word "motherfucking" right to the face is just not nice at all.

Whenever the reaction to that is a face held like stone, with a totally under control composure, enduring several in a row.... you're looking at a determined and practiced liar who's M. O. is to hang to the end and stick to their lie, no mater what. A person who isn't lying will move their reddening eyes, perhaps raise one or both arms or hands, their body will sway a little bit, and their voice will whine and say "But I'm telling the truth!" Their face will be slightly redder, too. At that point, I switch direction and in a reconciliatory manner say, "Ok, I believe you. I'm sorry to act like such a dickhead, but I had to know."

The ones that maintain a cool head with no change in expression... that really is a MOTHERFUCKING LIAR, so no harm done since its true, right? So you see, I'm not really a dickhead, I'm just skilled at acting just like one.

Aw heck, I won't lie... I USED to be a dickhead, so that's when I learned how they act.... HAHAHA.

The Phony Christians don't get it at all. By that I mean how JESUS really is. They are putting on the social appearance of Christendom, but they aren't Christ like AT ALL. Hell, neither am I, ha-ha. But that's because I'm not a Christian, nor am I a liar. It boggles the mind how many of these Christian LIARS have ministries, or claim they have one. One thing they have in common, and this is just as pervasive as the inability to say "I'm sorry" while bearing the pain, and this is at the ROOT of why they even do it....

THEY ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS expect you to do something for them FOR FREE.... for JEEEEESUS.

Even though THEY are the Christian, not you! That's the ministry part.... GET IT? They're spiritual leaders of worship and praying and being in the spotlight.... even (gulp).... dare I say it? SINGING!!!! For any non technical layman out there who might not know, YES, A LIE CAN BE SUNG... its not just speaking writing, and wearing a cross or a fish...singing is real high on the list, too, right up there with LEADING THE GROUP PRAYER. Something about that microphone... sometimes, I swear, when I'm on the mic, and I got it jascked thru Reaktor and I'm feeling my stride and everything's flowing... I sound like THE VOICE OF GOD!!!! What a full body rush that is!



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