50,000 Gallons of Shit

50,000 Gallons of Shit

from: The Weird Wire
65.54.98.107
06-02-04
22:53:01

Friday, February 3, 2006---San Antonio, TX--------------------------- City officials responded to a report of a giant sewage explosion in the Huebner & Apple Green road area on the N.W. side of town early Friday. City officials from Environmental Services, at last report, were trying furiously to find the source, cap the leak & deodorize the area. One official, who declined to speak on record, blamed the new all-night burrito parlor located "in the more swanky area" of town for the alleged giant leak. He went on to state, "Ya know, sh*t rolls downhill, so the lower the property value, the higher probability of a leak occurring in your area". Attempts to contact the burrito parlor owner have been unsuccessful thus far. Residents living in the low-lying areas nearby have been advised to seek shelter until the area has been entirely decontaminated. Officials say 47,000 gallons, nearly 50k, of raw sewage was filling residents' yards, creekbeds & sidewalks in the entire area. Face masks & Lysol are being donned & doled out on corners like candy at Halloween. Further evacuation notices may follow.

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