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67.164.61.245
06-07-30
10:01:23
O. POSSUM TYRE MOREHITS, ROADKILL, DEAD AT 7 Former mammal O. Possum Tyre Morehits, with absolutely no relevance to people who correspond on Popeye-X's forum, who under- went a Firestone truck tire, died last week in Texas from fatal compression at the age of 7. The Waco Times said that one day after getting her brains fucked out by an unknown balding assailant on July 8, the former possum, well-known for her ability to "play dead," gave her most realistic performance after she suffered a major attack of gravity, in the form of a pickup truck loaded with watermelons on their way to the Farmer's market in Bryan, TX, which ultimately took her life last Friday. During her entertain- ment career which began at age two, Possum mostly hid in a big pile of old fruitcakes behind an abandoned filling station on route 35, right outside of town. In her teenage years Possum, who shortened the name Olivia to O. in an attempt to distinguish herself, ate just about anything she could lay her razor-sharp teeth to, such as bugs, garden hoses, snails and old fruitcakes (everybody in East Texas has a pile of them moldering out back) and climbed fences with a whole passel of yunguns clingling to her back. She is survived by her husband, Whereabouts Unknown Roadkill, her parents, her siblings G. Hosephat, Isaiah, and Elijah, four grandparents, two great-grandparents, and a great-great- grandmother, the Times said. As a passenger in the pickup was quoted as saying: "She will be missed, but not by me."
