mike ellis and chris holzhaus are the only old time guitar players who are wortha shit

from: of course I defy anyone, even Rudy Harst

to write a tune that can top Randy Garibay's Barbacoa, and some Big Red song...there's was even jalapenos and gorditas in it! GIVE IT UP you pitiful local clowns. Sammy Davis Jr. was asked who his favorite entertainer was and I swear he said Randy Garibay. So please tell Publio from Lord August And the Visions of Light, when he's stretching the string on a blues lick, "just pull it till it gets there!" Now we know who the best is, so who's the worst? I'll be glad to tell you, except please realize, HE'S WAY WAY WORSE than the worst could ever be. That's right, Henry motherfucking Perez. Absolutly the worst musician I've evr heard in the city of San Antonio. I like guys like John Suarez Yoakum, he's the one who blind sided Henry Perez up the side of the head with a beer pitchure and knocked his drunk meskin ass thru a plate glass window where he was "playing". That's more like it, instead of clapping and asking him to play one more, they ought to just tell him to come jam FOR FREE on Huebner Road, right where they're laying that new cement sewer pipe, you know, whereTexas Hair Ball is planning on trying to bump off popeye-x just cuz he doesn't like bands who pay for their studio time by letting Mike Taylor record them for free... FREE SNORTS that is. What is a free snort anyway? Its not free, SOMEBODY had to pay for it, I wonder who it was? That Mike Taylor Bumpyard Recording studio is so GENEROUS to local bands. He's helping San Antonio. There's Robbie G's bless his soul, there's Rusty Martin, 2 Tons Of Steal, Eve Unbound, Texas Radio, Denny Mathis' Stealin For a Livin', and best of all... The Benefit For Texas Road Kill Possums, all the money from the 10 CD box set is going to help them crippled little ophans make a good run up to the Great Northwest to score some righteous "natty-dread" colitas, and bring it straight back to the Alamo City to smoke with all thecool bands with real nut sacs, like PKO, who ain't ass kissin; to try to appear like they ain't FOR SURE the first and the best REALNiggaz In Black for this Brown Town. PKO had Magic Mark and Pony J on the cover of their first record with huge bags of powder and herb, DJ turntables and .45 automatics and a .357... and a sawed off 12 gage... on the motherfucking COVER! Now that's my band. I ought to know, cuz I showed Mike Trombone Taylor how the REAL NIGGAZ like Dr. Dre lock the shit all together. This was in 1989, "Comin' Up With Dope" look on the cover you will see, "studio technical assistance by XT" I made WAY more money by those crazy rappers than any sappy ass George Strait Wish I Was Bands. That's Popeye-X's rap name. My name is XT.... you got a problem with that? Oh? You wanna steal it cuz you think people will think you're cool, like when Claude Morgan stole my band name The HIX. Tryin' to ride the fame of the XT X-nmaes, thinkin' they's gonna be FAMOUS! HAHAHAH. Yeah famous for this whole town readin' on this website.... Think I'm lyin'? check out http://www.popeye-x.com/music.html also http://www.popeye-x.com/studio.html So how do you tell the real studios from the dope cover studios? I make the motherfuckers PAY. $$$ and a bud or two. It not like Mike Taylor where he offers to bankroll their PKOwhole album, so he looks legit. (By the way, PKO, admitted crack dealers PAID for their studio time with money, they wouldn't insult the authenticity of their own music by cutting it with baking soda and PRETENDING THEIR GETTING HIGH) Who has time to get high? We're making a goddamn record here, and once its pressed and sold, the profit margin compared to arm and hammer so-called crack sales only underscores how fucking WORTHLESS that shit is! We charged them over $2000 to record and mix ONE SONG. They made the flip side themselves with their DJ dope dealer friend.) Ever see Mike Taylor sitting at the desk mixing, or playing his bass looking real busy concentrating? Hell no, he'd just as soon drop the subject as soon as possible. Well, Mike, where is your studio anyway? After a while you realize, oh, its "underground", they must stash dope there too, right? Hell, no, that's under the couch cushion, what's being hidden is the board, the computers, the audio gear, thetotal lack of studio monitors, itseasier just to mix on the shittiest speakers they sell that come with PC's you find in a dumpster.You never see pics of his studio or ads fpr it, Edit Point closed, that cover is dead. I gave the SAPD the address and phone number and pics of what to look for, plus examples from ebay, so they can get an idea how absurd it is to have a $22,000 digital mixing console sitting on a funky old box, with a fucked up tarp ready to cover it up... just in case. Most studios BRAG about their gear, its like a porno centerfold, not Mike Taylor's Bumpyard facility. In fact, it doesn't realy have an address at the moment, or a phone, or  a website. You kinda need to go thru Texas Nostril Locators and private cell phone "its around here somewhere" agents. How many ounches did you wanna record? I mean SONGS! this is why I love Pounds, Keys, and O-Zees, AKA PKO. Hide it? hell, that's the name of their band, they're trying to help you find it... not the dope, that's the easy part, THE MUSIC is the part that's hard to get, it costs WAY more than the dope. WAY more. First of all... how the fuck do you make at beat you didn't rip off? GOOD QUESTION. This is exactly how I got involved in the first place. I've never even seen crack, not even on TV. What would you rather do? Watch fake cops snort fake coke on TV, or dick with a drum box all nite and drop some real science to really fuck with some heads?
My studio is well known, its on HUEBNER ROAD, and has been since 1972. Think you wanna break in a steal something? Be my guest, they won't even blink an eye when I shoot you dead without any warning whatsoever. Even if I knew you, they can't repove I recognized you since they can't even tell what your head USED to look like. Besides, you wouldn't know what to steal, the last fool stole some t-shirts. Think its full of gear? Wrong. Its full of boxes of recording tape stacked to the ceiling, loaded guns, and super sharp skull island pirate daggers hidden in the cracks of the couch cushions. I'm taking about EVERY couch cushion. I even got a 2 handed sword, not rzor sharp, except for the tip of the blade. I could stick it thru your aorta in one second and it would stick out your back about 2 feet Perhaps you'd like to steal my sword? great! the second I would see you and it is the second you would die

How about a mike stand? I don't have any, all my shit is ceiliing mounted so drunked fools won't wreck it. How about an impossibly tangled handfull of wires? don't worry, they won't plug into any jack you 've ever seen. How bout my guitar? Yeah, great idea, take it to Pluto, the first person ytou see will say, "oh can you believe that's a serious instrument? I can't believe he ruined it by making it look like the worst guitar you've never seen. That's a real strat? I thought maybe it was a demolition rodeo clown" guitar, for bulls to charge at, what's that screen door handle? that's a floyd rose? on that chunk of shit? oh my god, look on the back, he used a marksalot to draw how to play an em chord, and look here, see them dots? that's how you play lead! fuck it, steal the paper towel dispenser instead. why? its got a giant glob of cat vomit on the back, very dried out. I can't believe he lives here...

suddenly I appear with a 12 guage , not in the door way, but from behind that pile of tapes, and before you can evensay one word, I blow your fucking lungs and face all over a piece of plywood on the cinderblock wall. think I'm lying?maybe. think I"d be grossed out? are you kidding me? that's art you dumb ass thief, and it is 100% totally MORE than legal for me to kill you any way I want, as long as its fast and completely by surprize. or I could even say, "you dumb fuck" then pull the trigger. you're in my studio, and you're scaring me cuz I didn't recognize you since I was behind your back hiding, taking good aim. but who needs a 12 guage? ever had a3 foot length of 3/8 " rebar sharpened to a razor point on a grinding wheel stuck in your left eye? ask my band if I've ever skeewered a baby possum like that in under 2 seconds. how about a good ol' chunk of metal table leg, or even better, 40" of the round end of a hickory rake handle up the side of your head, with all my might, no warning at all. check out my cinder block walls. notice how there's these crude 1 inch craters blown out of the masonry? wow, one even has duct tape over a hole. yeah, that was from a .357 back in 1975. those little ones are .22's and 9mm. over 30 years ago. was I shooting someone? no. I was shooting my gun in the house as a form of "look how fast I could do this" funny thing is, I have not seen that motherfucker since, nor my $250. its cool. I'd pay $250 to never see an untrustable asshole in my studio again, wouldn't you? think I'm lyin'? I was shooting in the house YEARS before I aquired tape recorders. when I'm in a session, I'm always packing, usually a skinning knife, but sometimes a gun too. an old trick my uncle taught me. don't have just one. have SIX, some high, some low, and some under the table already pointed at the person's balls. he showed me in the US Constitution, the fed govt can't make it against the law. its more against the law todisarm me than it is for me to blow your fucking shoulder blade in half. outside in the yard, I'm in big trouble, but in my studio, you are dead... INSTANTLY. all I gotta do is be scared.

I record any kind of music as long as it pays money and makes me laugh. I create music there, its not like a big karioke style front for a bunch of dope heads like Texas Lenyo and Tapioca Hairball.... unless the got money of course. FACT: I made $100 from mixing 3am to 7am this morning. By the time I "woke up", I already made $100.  Christian rock, bunch of bullshit about spending eternity with Christ. FUCK THAT, I'd rather hang with PKO and laugh my fucking balls off at theirFANTASTIC lyrics, like "fuck the president" ...of course I sampled their black asses, they sound too cool to pass up, wanna hear it? this is my band now X-Amount, FUCK THE PRESIDENT. Magic Mark, you need to hear this shit... of course... you gets nothin'... except my undying praise and genuineappreciation as a band in this town that MATTERS, as opposed to a fake ass rehash of yesterdays boredom copy-cat clone... like Texas Rectium and Hairball Colostomy.

Yeah, see? I was making records back when they sounded like rock and roll should... noisy and disruptive. The only thing I hate worse than CD's is DVD's. They have completely ruined the entertainment experience as far as I'm concerned. People say Popeye-X doesn't come out much any more, he's "lost it". OH, REALLY? Excuse me, but I FOUND IT, and if you think I'm gonna miss one minute of it just to make a showing at some San antonio Me Too Society Gathering Of the Alcoholically Moronic, then it is you who are sadly being BORED to death. I don't mind going to a show to see cool friends, like Keith Emerson, or Mark Mothersbaugh, or even a real super star like Augie Meyers, or a genius like Flaco Jiminez. I'll even go heckle Jackie King or Larry Trub... otherwise, I'm staying in my studio, its so much more cool than any place I've ever been, with the exception of the Robert Johnson SABS Promo Benefit Blues Society to cover bank fraud mega-promo... just to laugh at the dismall FAILURE. Hey, its better than a David Lynch movie to me.

Oh, yeah, I go see Chuckwagon on my bike.




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