some will live, some will die, |
 |
the best way is to USE the possum... |
| i used to be the most heartless, self -centered, and totally ignorant possum slaughterer on earth. |
| if i saw a possum, it DIED, and sometimes in very painful ways, like hacking it in the face with a machete until there was no face left, and so on. its totally unnecessary, and technically WRONG. |
| first, stop and think! state the problem: there are possums in the house crawling everywhere. it sucks, but its not their fault! they're just looking for something to eat. something disgusting... like a dead rotted possum? yes, precisely dr. einstein. |
| solution #1: get them out of the house! how? kill them ALL. |
| how? its so easy... with your bare hands, use a 2x6 to get them behind the couch, use a gun, use a metal pipe, or do like me... feed them poison. don't waste money on cardboard rat trays, etc, just buy a bottle of rat poison, 5 oz. for $1.50, instead of 1.5 oz. for 3 dollars because it has a cardboard dish. |
| put the poison where you see a possum, but you NEVER see your cat. use a dish with some dry cat food in it. then the next night replace the dry cat food with rat poison. |
| put another one somewhere in your house you see possum turds, but where your pets NEVER go. don't worry, your cat is not going to go back into that spot and eat cat food, much less poison. |
| leave your front door open, put water outside. the possum will go outside to die, i promise you. and the next possum will eat it, and die, i promise you. eventually, they won't come back, but they will be out there, right? |
| ok, dumb-ass, close the front door. |
| the key is to use the living possums to get rid of the dead possums. its brilliant!
leave the biggest one alive, it is the only one big enough to eat its
whole family. that's right! they don't care one bit, and neither should you. |
| in the future, keep them outside, they are good for the environment. if something dies under your house, or god forbid, inside the floor cavity of your mobile home, just leave it alone. hold your nose for a day or two. a possum will smell it and crawl in there and remove every last speck. no residue at all!!! |
