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name: Tezcatlipoca
job: Aztec God
hobbies: full time trickster
and fucking shit up in general
for his own amusement, of course

the only friends he needs:
an army of hunchbacks and dwarfs
70.243.167.187 09-08-08

Tezcatlipoca came to the Toltecs, first under the guise of a Huaxtec, selling green chiles. In the Huaxtec culture, the men wore mantels, but no loincloths underneath. When Huemacís daughter saw Tezcatlipoca in the marketplace, SHE SAW HIS MANHOOD and was overcome with such desire for him that she became sick with it. Huemac was forced to call Huaxtec into his palace, as his daughter told him that she would die if she could not marry him. When told that He had caused the rulerís daughter such sickness, the crafty Tezcatlipoca told Huemac to kill him. Not knowing that he was being tricked by a god, Huemac instead ordered Tezcatlipoca to marry his daughter. Having been offered exactly what He wanted, Tezcatlipoca complied.

Now on the inside of Toltec society, Tezcatlipoca used His sorcery to trick the idle Toltecs. He played a mystical drum which mesmerized those who heard it and caused them to dance so wildly that they eventually threw themselves off of a cliff. He caused such disorder that Huemac tried to plot His demise. He sent Tezcatlipoca to fight against the Chichimecs, accompanied only with an army of hunchbacks and dwarfs. When He returned victorious, Huemac sank deeper into despair.

Tezcatlipoca again enchanted the Toltecs by making an infant dance in His hand. The infant was really Huitzilopochtli in disguise. Some of the observers realized this and rose up against Tezcatlipoca and killed Him, but Tezcatlipoca was a god and merely assumed another body, and caused His old dead one to continuously reappear in the streets of Tollan, tormenting the Toltecs with its smell as it rotted. No matter how many times the people of the city tried to get rid of Tezcatlipoca's old body, it would always reappear.

ok that's quite enough, you get the general idea. there is much, much more written about Tezcatlipoca, i suppose if it were all written down, there would not be enough loincloths in the whole world to contain the mountains of shit that have continued to pile up.

the main thing you need to remember is:
Tezcatlipoca is the Aztec God with a barbequed chicken wing for a foot, and a breathtakingly beautiful, but hideous
"love chorizo" i bet you'd want it so much,
you would even make ME sick!

 

 

 

 

favorite song:
El Tez is an accomplished musician
who plays flutes and drums,
and his favorite song, by far, is:

"Aztec Meatballs"
written by popeye-x only last night.

(and it goes like this)

aztec meatballs, fat and round
aztec meatballs, drag the ground
aztec meatballs, way down south
aztec meatballs, in your mouth!

aztec meatballs, well-hung stud
aztec meatballs, squirting blood
aztec meatballs, pumping cum
aztec meatballs, with your tongue!

aztec meatballs, get 'em fresh
aztec meatballs, human flesh
aztec meatballs, one big note
aztec meatballs, down your throat!

aztec meatballs, every night
aztec meatballs, brown or white?
aztec meatballs, loved by sluts
aztec meatballs, bustin' nuts!

ANTI POPEYE X FAN CLUB
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