Keystone Kops are alive and well

from: the dog did it. Yeah, that's it... 10-05-24

So I'm watching "Dead Men Talking" (a show about forensics in "cold cases") and the story of Carmen Torres comes on. I'm glad nobody was watching me, because my mouth kept flopping open wider and wider in disbelief at the sheer incompetence of the "authorities" in your neck of the woods. Here's the gist: in 1991, a 68-year-old woman is found spread-eagle in her living room, with her throat slit ear-to-ear and her pants cut completely from her body. In the next room, her 80-year-old husband - helpless from two massive strokes - shits himself and babbles at the ceiling. Since the family dog was licking Mrs. Torres' wounds, Bexar Sheriffs immediately conclude THE DOG HAD KILLED HER. The medical examiner swears at the inquest that no sexual assault took place. Eventually, the stalwart protectors of Bexar residents' domestic tranquility decided that the dog hadn't killed her (must have been that pesky problem of dogs not being able to slash people's clothing from their bodies with a knife), and instead conclude that THE HUSBAND DID IT! (They even tried - TWICE - to indict him for the murder, despite the fact that he was permanently confined to a hospital bed.)

Years pass, but the dogged determination of a detective with half a fucking brain leads him to re-examine the case, starting with the issue of whether or not a sexual assault had taken place, or had Mrs. Torres slashed her own clothes off before assuming a skydiver position and committing suicide. Again, the M.E. swears up and down that there was no evidence of sexual assault. The detective goes to the morgue to gather some paperwork, and finds on a shelf a rape kit from Mrs. Torres, taken at the time of her autopsy. (The rape kit the M.E. swore he didn't perform.) It includes swabs that contain semen from an invisible boogie-man that must have snuck into the lab to have sex with her corpse, I'm thinkin'. Oddly enough, the DNA matched the delinquent asshole who lived next door to Mrs. Torres, who had never even been questioned by the cops, despite the fact that photos of the crime scene show him pallin' it up with cops! Here: read all about it. (article about halfway down the page) http://www.jfa.net/VOJ/voj_feb02/news1.html Couldn't find the episode online, the title is "Dead Men Talking: Diary of a Serial Arsonist; The Lost Clue" ("The lost clue" is the case above.)



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