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My Shabby Behavior

Ed Zeppelin
216.166.21.162
02-05-01
16:34

I donít know why I have behaved in the manner that I have recently, I have treated my online friends very shabbily. I have needlessly isolated myself from the compassion and understanding I need and crave so much. Perhaps it stems from some long forgotten trauma from my younger years that I have suppressed until it explodes outward as anger toward others. Maybe itís from all those long nights in my teen years, The lonely days spent slathering my gums with orajell and listening to Perry Como, it had to be Como, just replace the first letters with an ďHĒ and youíll know why. Iíd lie there for hours just listening and gnawing the corners off the album covers for hours. Maybe it was all the Friday nights I spent alone in my teen years, drawing smiley faces on my penis so I wouldnít feel so lonely. I named her Kewpie and she was a cheap date Iíll tell you, for the price of some silk panties and a jar of KY jelly she was mine, all mine, all night. Or maybe itís because of the neo-masochistic lifestyle I lived in my 20ís, maybe all the clothespins and duck tape on my scrotum finally caused a hormone imbalance in my brain. Maybe itís an allergic reaction to the metal in the alligator clips I used as electrodes during those all night sessions of methamphetamine and electrified ecstasy. Or perhaps itís because of the handfuls of viagra and enzyte I have been taking recently in my failed attempt to increase and maintain my fading manhood. Whatever it is that has caused my recent irrational behavior, I will do my best to curb it in the future. Mama said I mustnít play with knives, donít touch! Donít touch! And I will do my best to make it up to everyone. Yours truly, Ed Zeppelin

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