The Fart


In the summer of 1972 I was in my second year at the Texas Institute for the Irrationally Angry and was living in a small upstairs apartment in an old building in La Vernia, Texas. The building was owned by a Mexican woman in her eighties. She lived in the apartment directly below mine and cooked frijoles every day, which she washed down with beer. After which she would come up to my room for some sex. Since I am a geek, I thought it was better than risk injuring my "mouse" hand. It was in the evening and I was laying on my bed, studying a dirty magazine and pulling my little dick. I looked up from the "textbook" to see what appeared to be a large amount of smoke billowing from between my legs to the small bedroom closet. My first thought was that the lady downstairs who kept her apartment quite warm at all times (as many older nudist do) had set the place on fire with one of her natural gas leg-lifters. I immediately rushed to the bathroom (and although in hindsight and if it really had been a fart it probably wouldn't have been a smart thing to do) and flung it open. Amazingly, there was no fart in the closet, no odour of shit either. I looked around the room and saw the last vestiges of what now seemed more like a fog disappear out the bedroom door into the hallway. I walked to the hallway and saw nothing there, it had vanished. Since it was still relatively early in the evening and the incident had upset me so much I had already changed my name six times, I checked downstairs, there was no fire, no smoke, and certainly no fart. I'm not sure what the old lady made of my disjointed tale of smoke and fog etc. But as I went back upstairs it dawned on me that I had seen a gas of some sort. And as I thought back on it, the foglike cloud had moved more like something alive than an actual fart would. And to think I actually rushed directly into it! Well, I did some research and found that the closet had actually been a bathroom before the building was divided into apartments. Also, at least two persons had passed gas in that very apartment over the years. One an older man who did 10 years in the past of old age, the other was a young man in his 20's who had died of a lung overdose 4 years in the past. Although I continued to live there for another 6 months I never saw the "gas" again (although I felt a sense of being alone often) but I will never forget that night.



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