Night before PPXmas

from: P. B. Derrigible

'Twas the night before duketmas, when all over the net, Antippxfanclub groupies' panties were all sticky and wet;

Their monitors were all warm with anticipation, That old Uncle PPX would relieve their frustration;

Their dildos were nestled all deep in their butts, With visions of bondage queens calling them sluts;

And Turkey in her relaxer, and Tackie in her gear, Had just settled down to get all jiggy and queer;

When up on the screen such a websearch arose, Nugent climbed off Bolton's face and spit out his hose;

Away to the computer Turkey flew like a flash, Her rolls of fat making ripples from her tits to her ass;

For what to her blood-shot eyes should appear, But a reincarnation of the Antippxfanclub, the last month of the year;

She opened the webpage, no one could be quicker, You'd never guess she just drank a case of malt liquor;

With the speed of electrons the words flashed on the screen, "Post or Fuck Off!", how long has it been?"

It was PPX, all right, all full of vinegar and piss, With a special antifanclub she won't want to miss;

His groupies were squirming in delight as they came, While he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Dip-shit! Now, Douche-bag! Now, Pervert and Shit-face! On Cum-trap! On Turkey! On Tackie and Dick-bait!

Get off of your knees and put that crack pipe away, Clean the cum out of your ears, I've got something to say!"

Turkey was drooling down both hairy thighs, While a warm look of ecstasy danced in her eyes;

He called her a jizz-bag, a tramp and a whore, She sucks fifty dicks in a night, maybe even more;

She likes to get tag-teamed by pimps and jamokes, Who buy her gold bling-bling and liquor and smokes;

She thought, "The way he's talkin' it sounds like he knows me, Just like Ms. Cleo an' dem psychic homies;"

Just then, from the bedroom, Bolton gave a holler, "What I gots to do get my dick sucked, put out twenty dolla?"

She finished the letter with a heaved and a sigh, And turned to give Bolton a piece of hair pie;

But she signed off as always, ere she left all his misfits, "Drop dead, all you cum rags, and piss on your duketmas."



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