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2002

from: Me
cache-rf03.proxy.aol.com
02-12-30
08:12

Well, it's been one hell of a year, hasn't it? For you it has just been another 365 days of Schlitz and pork rinds, but for the rest of America and the rest of the world it has been a year filled with great events and turmoil. Let's take a look back at some of the highlights from the last twelve months...

Enron announced bankruptcy in December 2001. Their accounting firm Arthur Andersen collapsed shortly thereafter...and WorldCom followed shortly after that.

The winter Olympic games open in February at Salt Lake City. What do you know? The Russians scored a 10 in figure skating immediately sparking an investigation.

International Criminal Court Wins UN Ratification (April). The U.S. makes it a point to be in the bathroom when the document is signed.

Martha Stewart gets in big trouble for dumping a shit-load of stock the day before its value drops like a petrified falcon. Can anyone say, 'insider trading?' Shortly thereafter Martha's stock falls like a bar of soap in a prison shower.

Chandra Levy's remains finally found. It turns out she didn't run away to live in Brazil after all.

Court declares pledge unconstitutional (June). Federal appeals court in San Francisco rules that the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance violate the separation of church and state.

Sniper Preys upon DC Suburbs...John Muhammad and Lee Malvo later arrested and charged with six counts of first-degree murder.

Congressional elections took place...the Republicans captured both the House and the Senate. The Democrats just didn't seem as much fun without Bubba and his box of magic cigars.

India and Pakistan engage in an intense saber rattling and border fighting. Turban and curry stocks plummet.

After years of recession, Argentina goes bankrupt when the nation defaulted on its $155 billion foreign debt payments, the largest such default in history. Argentina goes through five presidents in a month.

A rash of sexual abuse scandals covered the Catholic Church like, well, like a rash.

President Bush threatened to take military against Iraq if they did not accede to U.N. resolutions concerning weapons inspections.

Iraq acceded to U.N. resolutions concerning weapons inspec- tions.

Senate approves domestic security department (November). Votes, 90-9, to create a new cabinet-level agency which they called the Department of Homeland Security...since Geheime Staatspolizei had already been used.

With this kind track record it makes a person wonder about what we can look forward to next year.

ANTI POPEYE X FAN CLUB
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