Piss Off You Septic Wanker

from: popeye-x finally laughs

Finally, the goat ticks find SOMEBODY to post who's funny! "Piss Off You Septic Wanker" is a classic comment. I am proud to be the object of anyone's derision, as long as its funny. If it makes me laugh, then the fact it was posted makes me seem as funny as the post, and that makes it worthy of being on this message board. I will honor the time the poster invested in his post to me, by investing my own time into a point by point reply to him.

I am in kuwait also mate.

Ok, its another soldier who's in the war, he knows the previous soldier, (the one who gets deleted for not being funny) but this guy is British. He leaves no name, (what's with that? can't you even think of a clever name?) but his claim to be who he claims to be is plausible, I'm starting to believe this whole Kuwait story in general. If I really am getting posts from forces in the Iraq war, then it is truly an honor for popeye-x. If I really am getting posts from a BRITISH soldier, then its even better. But this motherfucker better be funny, that's all I can say..

I cant believe you wanker yanks spend your time on this pathetic website cutting down people you obviously do not know.

Here we go. I deal with this attitude all the time, one of my friends online is in UK, I am in daily contact with droll,  anti-American scorn, "yank" is a borderline term, like "limey". Its right on the edge, it could be a put-down, depending on how its used. When combined with "wanker", it is definitely not a compliment. We are "wanker yanks" , oooo, slap in the face. "Pathetic website" is funny, coming right after "wanker yanks" makes it patently British. "Spend your time" and "cutting down people you obviously do not know" are typical dumbass hypocrisy. What are you doing, mate? You're spending your time on this pathetic website cutting down people you obviously do not know. You say you can't believe we're doing it. I can't believe you're doing it, so we're even on that one. Keep in mind, its my website, so at least I have an excuse, what's yours? Who's the wanker now, mate?

tomorrow I will go and do the things this div nut on this website only wishes he had the courage to do.

What's a div nut? I hear these limey slang words all the time, words like "sot", "lazy git", "twig", and "lumpy." I'll have to consult my sources to translate. "Only wishes he had the courage" <--- where do you get that? I only wish I had the CHANCE, I'd like nothing better, and that's a fact. Anyone here who KNOWS ME will tell you that.

You must be a very brave soldier to sit at home in comfort and insult people you cant see.

Can you see me, mate? I'm sorry you're not in comfort, but being uncomfortable doesn't make you any more or less brave than me. All you're doing is insulting people you can't see, so you can't very well use that as a rationale to compare my balls to yours. Give credit where credit is due. This pathetic website is providing you with some "fun" while you're busy having "not fun" doing your job, so in my own way, I'm doing you a service, I'm HELPING you laugh, and it is gratifying to me that my stupid little toy is actually of some positive use to people in the war. I don't demand that you not contradict yourself while insulting me, I only ask that you please make me laugh. You have done that by being yourself, so your post has earned the right to exist here. Being a brave soldier doesn't mean shit in here, you have to be a brave soldier who can make other readers of this site LAUGH, so the punch line has to be more than just "I'm a soldier and you're not." That's not what I call funny. Its just a peer group thing, no wit is involved. Your next line is an example of the lameness I'm talking about:

I have been asked to tell you to try and track this ISP and shut us down. They told me you could not even afford the phone call.

What makes you think I would use the telephone? I'm not quite as stupid as Jim Corbett, ok? Just in case you don't know, us Internet people don't use the phone, we use the Internet. DUH... I have several options for combating dipshits who make useless posts, reporting abuse to an ISP is only one of them. I am not limited to what a LAMER GOAT TICK would do. In your case, I'd simply delete you. You know about delete, right? You're over there in Kuwait so you "could wait" to delete Iraqi forces, i. e. "take them out." I can take you out faster than you can come back in, so I don't even have to shut the door, which is another option entirely. I can't afford the phone call? Who says? I wouldn't waste any money on you, but I can certainly afford a phone call to anywhere in the world. Its not a big deal. Why spend money on a phone call when my $20/mo. dial up connection gives me unlimited email? Since its a DIAL UP, I'm connected by a phone call, therefore I CAN afford the phone call. That phone call also pays for my access to my other options of deleting you or blocking you. Please tell whoever told you to say that stupid statement: I've already afforded it. Also, note that I paid for my dial up with my own money. Your connection is provided by the military, free for you, funded by taxes, in other words, paid for by tax payers, which means ME. I have afforded your connection as well as mine, so FUCK YOU on that point.

Piss off you septic wanker.

That was funny. I'm proud of that comment, but you have to realize, I'm a sucker for British insults, no matter who they're aimed at. I hear them everyday from a friend, laughing at that shit is one of my fun things to do in life. Take note: it has to be FUNNY. Calling me a "septic" wanker is why its funny. I can't wait to show that comment to my friend, she will probably laugh at that one, its about me. Its not blindingly brilliant, but at least its not an incoherent mumbo jumbo with a punch line that flops on its face. Thanks for reading and posting something funny in reply. Your time and effort is appreciated, as long as its entertaining... TO ME.



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