Written by Kurt Otto, 12/09/99, and posted at Eve Unbound's website guestbook so Inez Newton and her crew might get a glimpse.

THE RISE AND FALL OF ROBAR'S DICK:

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mariah, yeah, THAT Mariah. And she happened to have a really big mondo "wanna get married someday" crush on Robar. I saw a letter published in the SA News by Mariah that praised Robar up and down about how great he was, how LUCKY San Antonio was to have guys like Robar, helping the local music scene, what a super talented all around musician Robar was, etc. etc. I'd say, she was probably the biggest fan he ever had in his life. In short, Mariah was IN LOVE with Robar.

She also happened to be Robar's wife's best friend. So, typically, Robar was doing her on the side, and wifey-poo was none the wiser. Nothing new in Robarland. Then, it seems that new girl Robar helped get a job at the music store, who we shall call "Brenda", wound up very pregnant.

[When she found out I knew she was pregnant, she suddenly got mad at Robar, saying, "Its none of his business!" I said, "Ah, but it is my business. When I first met you, Brenda, the first thing I thought of was, 'Wow, I'd like to get HER pregnant!' So, you see, it IS my business."] This was Oct. '89. Of course I have the dates!

Anyhow, Brenda was inconveniently pregnant. So, needing some quick cash to deal with the "inconvenience" bearing down on him, i. e. a knocked up fellow employee, Robar decided to get help from a person who loved him very much. Now, understand, Mariah had 3 kids she was supporting at the time by working at least 2 jobs. She was also staunchly opposed to abortion. So, Robar told Mariah he had some "doctor bills" giving him grief and he was wondering if he might tap into Mariah's bank account for a little secret loan, of course, no need for his wife (her best friend) to be bothered with knowing about it. So, Robar tapped into the cash Mariah had worked her butt off for and saved to provide security for her 3 kids, she loved Robar like family, and she trusted him like a lovesick fool always does. So, "Brenda" gets her abortion, and leaves the employ of the music store, never to be seen again.

Then, like magic, Mariah found out what Robar had used her money for. She was totally crushed and humiliated. For one thing, the idea of working SO HARD, and then being deceived and relieved of the MONEY she'd saved, so it could be used to pay for an ABORTION to cover Robar's sidefuck to the sidefuck sloppiness... well, that pissed her off to the maximum. Using his dick on someone else? She didn't like that very much, especially using money meant for her babies.

Also, her big "dreamlike" worship of the world's greatest guy, Robar Adams, came crashing down on top of her. It hurt her very deeply to learn what she thought was going to be the biggest love in her life was just a trick, that she was just one of several Robar sidefucks, and definitely NOT on the top of his "love" list, just at the top of his "secret cash" list. This was the most humiliating and disillusioning experience in her whole life, but you see, she made a fatal mistake. She wasn't without fault, after all, she was carrying on with her best friend's husband, and they did have a child, Candra, so Mariah shouldn't have been messing around with a married guy with a wife and kid. But that wasn't her BIG mistake. Her biggest mistake was TRUSTING her deeply felt convictions that Robar was a GREAT GUY who loved her like she loved him. You know, "I'd do anything for you..."? This was a tremendous blow and I happen to know it broke her heart as hard as it could get broke.

But, hey, at least Robar's dick was in the clear! Now, how do you think Mr. None Of My Business Kurt Otto even heard about this? Well, I was talking to Mariah one day, and I happened to mention I HATED Robar's guts, which surprised her. Why? I told her he had attempted to deceive me into helping him with a "large" dope deal he couldn't quite pull off, I told him "NO", he said, well, my client would like to get ANY amount of ANY kind of drugs, LARGE or SMALL. I said, there are no drugs I know of. He asked, When might there be some available? I said, I don't know, and I didn't foresee them being available at any time in the future. He said So I should tell my client they should stick their $500 where the sun don't shine? I answered, Yes, that's exactly what you should tell them. He seemed kinda relieved. [I am not paraphrasing, those were our exact words]

Then, a few months later, my mother calls me, and she wants me to please ask Robar to not let my sister live at his house. You see, my sister had just gotten out of the State Hospital and was going thru a serious chemical break with reality from drinking, it terrified our whole family, and my mother especially was devastated by the whole situation. If it wasn't for my mom sticking by her, my sister would have died several times by now. Anyhow, my sister was totally chemical and totally out of it, medically psychotic, and sometimes terrifyingly so. She put my mother thru hell on earth just being a drunken fucked up bitch from hell. So, what my mother wanted me to tell Robar was that Kaye had confessed about the $500 that was missing from my mom's account. When first asked what the money was for, my sister said, To buy dope from Kurt. My mother said, That's a lie. He wouldn't do anything for you. My sister said, Oh, he doesn't know its for me, Mike Taylor and Robar are his dealers. My mother said, I don't believe that. Then, my sister said, Well, he USED to help Robar get drugs that were actually for me, but he didn't know it. My mother said, I don't believe you. Then, my sister thought it over and said, Nevermind, I was just lying about all that. My mother said, I damn sure don't believe that! So, my mom called me asking me to tell Robar all this stuff Kaye [who really was sick at the time] had told her. [Actually, the missing $500 went up Kaye and her "other" boyfriend's arm, with no "help" from Robar or me.] My mom figured Robar would be mad at Kaye for snitching him off, and he wouldn't enable her to resist my mother's insistence that she not do massive drinking and drugging 24 hrs. a day.

Now, you see, my mom was no fool. She knew how poor I was the week Kaye got out of the mental hospital. She knew I wasn't doing any drink or drugs, and she knew I was broke on my ass, I think I even borrowed $10 for 3 days, just to get from point A to point B. I was living slim, as slim as it gets. Passing the temptation of $500 being waved in my face during such a financially slim week made me look pretty good, in light of all the lies my sister had been shoveling for years and years. Actually, Robar's little trick did me a big, big favor, its proved that my mother's faith in me was not in vain, and I was very happy to walk away from disaster smelling like a rose. But this is not what Robar had planned for me. His plan was to take advantage of my desire to be good friends with him, and deceive me into doing something totally illegal so he could "get a little" out of it. I never dreamed he was using our friendship as a decoy to enable my sister to rip my mother off for half a grand, do all the dope, then re-enter rehab glory with a full confession that happened to include little ol' me as BIG BAD GUY. The fact that I said NO, without any possibility of LATER, made no difference to my sister, that was her story, and she stuck to it, and when the bank threatened to prosecute my sister for fraudulently obtaining a loan using her card, my mom naturally paid the money, thereby saving my sister's medically insane ass. The only reason I even heard of this shit was my mom wanted Robar to know the game was up, so would he please not "help" my sister.

Its not over. Then, Robar's girlfriend, Johnna, calls me up and says, What's this deal about your sister? Apparently she showed up at their house several times, looking for a place to be drunk at. I said, Come on over, I'll tell you all about it. Well, Johnna came over and I told her, Listen, whatever you do, don't trust Robar. He is a totally fake friend who takes advantage of anyone who loves him a lot. He sees their love for him as a weakness for him to exploit, and the usual reason he does it is for what he perceives to be some "stolen pussy thrill". She said, So you're saying I need a new boyfriend? I said No I'm saying if you trust Robar with all your eggs in one basket, you ARE A FOOL. I think she sensed I wasn't lying, even though I was saying exactly what she did not want to hear, I went ahead and speculated about certain things she might wonder about, like: Have you ever gotten the impression that maybe, somehow, without you knowing, Robar is fucking your best friend every chance he gets? I was just guessing. I know when my guesses are on target. The total lack of protest with increased curiosity told me I was righter than I knew. And so, I told her not to trust him, or she would definitely lose, just like I did. Then, she left acting like she was looking forward to bouncing my theories off of Robar's ears.

About 2 or 3 days later, I get this letter in the mail, and its from Johnna & Robar, and its written with statements to the effect that I was known by them to be "involved" in dealing drugs, and the thing was signed by both of them as if it was some kind of sworn affidavit! I took it as some kind of mixture of a pussy problem crossed with a "caught with your pants down" drug deal problem. I thought it was really weird that neither one of them had ever done deals with me except to SELL me their pot, and I had turned the one time only Big Drug DEAL down flat.

My total involvement with Robar's drug scheme was to say the word NO, and, I admit, I also informed his girlfriend, in no uncertain terms, he was a totally sociopathic lying asshole, and never to be trusted.

Here's the guy WHO ASKED ME to help him do his deal, I didn't do it, and now, that same guy and his girlfriend [who has nothing whatsoever to do with anything] are trying to get some kind of upper hand by being "in general" snitches? To Robar's deal? The one where there was bank fraud and conspiracy to deal illegal drugs? The same deal that was supposed to rip off my mother, and get me in total hot water with my family and the law? All so I could help a good friend like Robar get high and get some pussy off of a psychotic mental patient? And that's the guy who's now threatening to SNITCH on the only person who could testify that Robar had indeed conspired to buy dope with bank fraud money? He's going to snitch on me? His fucking ass was in my hands, if my mother had in mind to prosecute my sister for ripping her off, it would be a pleasure to offer my testimony to include Robar in on all the mess. He's so fucking dumb, he doesn't know its illegal to even try to arrange a deal. The deal might not have happened, but conspiracy definitely happened, and you can't convince me he didn't know my sister got that money from the bank. I know, because Robar told me his client had gotten a loan by "accident". That deal was the most ridiculous attempt at getting in as much trouble possible for no gain whatsoever I have ever even heard of. And now the son-of-a-bitch is going the snitch route so he can divert his girlfriend's attention away from what I told her? Which was the truth, 100%? After about a week, Johnna came to her senses, and blew that fucking asshole off forever. So, all the things he tried, and all the things he said, they all ended up in miserable failure, but he did accomplish two things. He inadvertently cleared me of ALL suspicion. After that time, my sister's pathological snitching held zero water, and it was great to see the LIE fuck itself up without having to deny anything. I didn't take the money, did I? There was no dope involved in any phase of it. Robar gained exactly nothing, and he lost me & his girlfriend forever in the process. Of course, my sister was just using him for her own nefarious bullshit. She was also the one that took all his secret "love" documentation to his wife, proving his infidelity, and destroying their family, not for any personal gain, just a little payback on Robar for not getting divorced fast enough to suit my sister. So, this person who Robar lost his other friends by helping, was the same person who succumbed to the temptation to snitch HIM off a few years before. Is this story unbelievable?

Its not over. I told Mariah this whole thing, and so she said she had a "Robar stab in the back for quick pussy story" to tell me. That's how I learned about the abortion and the money he swindled Mariah out of. She didn't want me to tell anyone, it seems after 3 years [89-92], Robar had still not paid her back, and she was worried if people found out he wouldn't pay her. Well, Word got out, it always does, and he did eventually pay her back. But she then hated his guts instead of loving him, a situation that paralleled my own feelings about this incredible asshole.

Its not over! In Dec.98, Mariah was murdered by the love of her life after Robar, that asshole she married, Joe Fuck or whatever his name was. She died in Tennessee, but there was a service here with her mom and dad and brother and all the people who loved her. Weird thing was, Robar didn't even show up to pay his respects. Its seems he dropped out of sight after his "snitch" letter. That was July,92. Her funeral was Dec. 98. Over 5 years later, and he didn't go to her funeral. Why? Because I was there. He was nervous about something. Could it be his uncertainty whether I would tell all the people how he ripped her off? He didn't really know for sure if his secret was still safe. He certainly never attempted to mend any bridges that he burned down completely for no gain at all. I guess he couldn't face the mere possibility that he would get publicly accused of suckering Mariah into the biggest humiliation of her life. Or was it the possibility that I might be still a mite angry about the way he tried to trick me into destroying my relationship with my family, and rip my mother off for $500, too? Why would I be mad about that? Couldn't he just call me and apologize for his deceptions and reflex cover-ups, and for the sake of Mariah's memory, we could blow it all off? Naw, too risky. That might involve having one conversation about an incident 5 years back. Too much hassle. So he just blew off Mariah's funeral, what the heck, she'll never know. Well, when everybody asked, Where's Robar? Mariah loved him. I didn't say anything, but from that moment on, I knew I would always remember the time a motherfucker who was supposed to be a "good friend" [his words] turned out to be worse than any enemy I had ever had, with the possible exception of my sister, and I would try in the future to not underestimate the DEVIL potential of "normal" people, who are loved by everyone as one of the nicer get-along types. A family man. A musician. A friend. A band mate. The motherfucker is a goddamned demon in smiling disguise, and if you don't believe me, watch the chickenshit bastard tremble whenever one of his BIG LIES starts to catch up with him.

I don't even care about all this shit. Its 5 years old. My mother was my Jimi Hendrix and Miles Davis rolled in one, and this cocksucking liar actually tried to trick me into helping my ultimate hero in life to get ripped off, AND foiled in her biggest goal in life, which was to get my sister off of drugs and alcohol. That was my mother's dream. She died very disappointed that all the progress was still back to square one. My sister was bombed the whole time my mom was dying. It was the most tragic event in our family history so far, I know we are very lucky, others have had it so much worse, and I understand that, but I'm saying this now so you will understand the depth of the total disgust I have for that rotten piece of shit named Robar Adams. I HATE that weak motherfucker. I fucking despise him, don't try to tell me its bad, its not! It feels great. I don't have to act all nice and forgiving any more. My mother is not here now, Robar has never shown anything but contempt for me & my family, I don't know what his fucking problem is. I heard his faggot cousin fucked him in the ass when they were kids. This was a story told to me by the person he told it to about 15 years ago. He told the story as consolation to his previous wife being distraught at finding out he had been unfaithful... a lot. His answer was, well, you should feel sorry for me, I got fucked in the butt as a child, so why are you complaining? That's how fucking deranged that shithead is about pussy. He really thinks he's got to "steal more" than he's got. I honestly think he's more into the kink of lying than fucking. I think deceiving someone's trust is like a power booster for his sex drive. I've seen him go for the telling of lies like a junkie goes for heroin, but when he gets the dope, he can only get off on someone else's stash. Both of his ex-wives have told me bunches of times how he never wanted to fuck them when they were married to him, but he sure liked to cheat. I don't even care about a fool like that. I only care about Candra [his daughter] and my mother. That's all that really matters to me. Candra deserves to have whatever family can be salvaged from the wreck Robar and my sister caused. They're so wrapped up in their own self perceived illusions of sexual ego, they never once took Candra into consideration.

Like the song says, "Robar's dick is a burnt match stick, that's ready to strike on the tip of a clit, and rip it to shit, like sushi confetti, he's the J. Paul Getty of Backseat Betty."  Of course I wrote it before this shit happened. 1991. One year before I "found out" about Robar. I'm kinda psychic sometimes, especially when I'm making up words that rhyme. The song is called ROBAR'S DICK, it was an FTW single from 1991. The fucking idiot must have thought that song was his destiny to act out. Shit, even little kids that have heard it know its a satire. The song is about a guy named Robar [sung by Robar, written by me], who is the ultimate bass playing pussy getter who gets "the girls, the money, and the bass guitars" Chorus: "R-O-B-A-R, talkin' 'bout me!, yeah, tell 'em who you are!, R-O- B-A-R, get it in your head, cuz I'm gonna be a star!" The silly SOB believed his own legend, and wound up losing several of his most loyal friends. He also destroyed his creditability with people who never really loved him, but thought he was a nice guy. After Mariah's funeral, people understood what I have been saying for 5 fucking years.

HAPPY ENDING: i don't remember when it was, let's say it was 2003 or maybe 2005, robar adams called me up out of the blue and apologized. so i said thank you. i forgive you. and now the shit is completely forgotten... by me. not by other people... perhaps he needs to apologize to them, too?

ROBAR'S DICK Kurt Otto 1991
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