From Kurt Otto to Traci Kishbaugh ::: 1/12/00 Fuck Or Fight was written in reply to this
TK: Mr. Otto,
KO: "Mr. Otto" is OK, but don't we know each other well
enough for you to just call me "Kurt"? I'm not a monster, just a silly
KO: Sounds commendable, but let's TRY to see where this is going.
TK: I would like to think I am wrong about you, so I hope you will prove that I have been wrong about you all along, and you will do the right thing.
KO: Frankly, since you're "wrong" about me, I'd rather prove you to be "right", in retaliation for you being "wrong". You see the logic, right? I'd much prefer that you not been "right enough" all along. This may seem "twisted", but anyone who knows me will tell you its patentedly "Otto" to be this way.
TK: Everyone says to try the nice approach, so that is what I am doing.
KO: Everyone is right. Possibly you should have tried it a bit earlier, like right off the bat?
TK: I hope you will respond in kind.
KO: You know damn well I will.
TK: Please do me the courtesy of reading EVERY word here before you respond.
KO: Traci, I have ALWAYS read every word of yours, meticulously. I've
said it so many times, but I'll say it again, I LOVE the way you write, I like
your style, your personality, your vocabulary, your tone, all of it. Its
brilliant, and I have had so much fun laughing from reading it, there's just no
way I can't respect it and love it.
KO: Well, I don't give a hoot what ANYONE thinks, but I take great interest in what you think, because it has been such a plus for attracting and involving reader response. You make people madder than hell, and I like that! I'm sure I make people mad, too. People like to watch us fight, and they really like to join in, because it looks like fun from the outside.
TK: Although WHY you would have an e-mail address for comments on your pages
since you obviously don't want any comments that differ from yours, I will never
understand, and you have never bothered to answer that question (or any others
except by using
KO: OK, here's the straight answer. OF COURSE I want opinions that differ from mine, since I have a policy of ZERO TOLERANCE FOR DISAGREEMENT in any shape, form, or fashion, a differing opinion provides the fulcrum for conflict. As you probably know from your journalism studies, conflict is what drives human interest writing. ALL stories revolve around some conflict. I'm sorry if I tend to stay in character 24 hours a day, that's probably why I've never given a straight answer on that particular question.
TK: Just as you have the right to do what you want with your web space, I also have the right to voice my opinion and to disagree with you.
KO: Hold it right there. The first part of that sentence is different from what you've said before. From the start, you said I DID NOT have that right, because I "crossed the line", and you also insidiously said something about my site being taken down "if one had no choice". Its your "no choice" concept that caused this whole mess, now you're saying I have the right, but you're only saying it because I've proved that I DO have the right. I have NEVER, EVER said you shouldn't disagree with me.
TK: Why can't you understand and respect my rights?
KO: I have always understood them, and I have always respected them, unlike you. KO: Come on. be honest, Traci, you tried to shut me down. I've never done anything like that to you.
TK: If you want me to understand and respect your rights, I think I deserve the same respect.
KO: You certainly do.
TK: However, you don't give respect, but you expect it of others.
KO: That's not true at all.
TK: That hardly seems fair.
KO: It didn't bother you when you said "I want that site down!"
TK: I respect your right to your opinion.
KO: You might now, especially since I've fought to preserve it, and won.
TK: All I did was disagree about the WAY you expressed yourself.
KO: Well, the WAY I express myself should not be your concern, its my "business" as a writer.
TK: Please tell me WHY you feel it necessary to use such language to convey your thoughts.
KO: It may be hard to understand, coming from Pennsylvania, but, the WAY I talk and express myself is pure Texas, I write exactly with the same voice I speak with. Once Cat heard my voice on the telephone, she understood my webpages a lot better. When you read them with my heavy Texas accent added in, the whole logic of it becomes clear, even to a Canadian like Cat. You're probably baffled by my language because you're a yankee, and you don't relate to my Texas voice. Short answer: Because its funny from a Texas point of view.
TK: You claim to be this very nice, considerate person, but whether you realize it or not, you have put me through hell.
KO: Good. You deserve it. Snitching me to the SAPD was NOT COOL. All that slander on the Leader's list was plenty of incentive to "get back" on you. You can dish it out when you don't think I'll find out, but what a different reaction you have when it comes back to haunt you, eh?
TK: I have been going through a very rough time this past year, and you only made it worse.
KO: I'm sorry about that. Were you trying to help my life out by contacting "the FBI and 3 police departments"?
TK: I don't deserve the treatment you have given me.
KO: I respectfully disagree.
TK: All I ever did was send you an e-mail voicing my OPINION of your page and sticking up for my best friend after you treated her like garbage.
KO: That is NOT all you ever did.
TK: That hardly warranted the treatment I received from you.
KO: Once again, I respectfully disagree.
TK: You have basically ruined my reputation by the lies you printed about me (being a lesbian and everything else).
KO: Nobody believes that crap, Traci, nobody takes me seriously at all. I haven't ruined your reputation, if anything, I've made you notorious as an insane writer. I have MANY people trying to jump on the bandwagon and make their writing reputation, too. Those people doing all that posting are all STRANGERS, Traci, they just want to see their words on the Internet. They want to be famous, like me and you! But the real truth is, we are still totally unknown. Everyone is VASTLY overestimating the amount of "fame" involved. Its just an illusion pumped up by the PPX myth. When it gets on 20/20, then it will be famous, but until then, its just piddly little shit. Don't sweat it, Traci, I'm not that influental. Really. (Don't tell anyone I said that!)
TK: In addition, you have forced me to shut down my fan club, which I worked very hard on for 12 long years, after the stuff you printed about my club on your message board.
KO: Now, come on, T, don't go belly up on me. That's just a big joke. NOBODY but NOBODY cares a fig about the Monkees except you and me. Not one reader knows a thing about them, and I think its really funny, of all people, you and I are the only ones who know about that stuff! Getting in a big competition about a Mobkee Lovers Unlimited fan club between a 31 year old woman and a 47 year old man is BEYOND ridiculous, its great! I did change my club to have a "-X" on the end, didn't I? BTW, did you see my photos of Mike Nesmith street? You gotta admit, that's pretty cool! And, I might add, I really do know their music inside and out, on every instrument. Everything I've claimed about Monkee knowledge happens to be 100% true. Why can't I be like you? I honestly think I'm more qualified. I don't know anything about fan clubs, but I really know Monkees music, the trivia is not my area of expertise, but when it comes to the music, I am unbelievable.
TK: Are you proud of yourself?
KO: Of what? That you're backing down out of embarassment? After all that rudeness and LIES from you? I finally found a way to really bug you, and now you're asking if I'm proud? You know damn well I am.
TK: Why would you want to do that to another human being?
KO: Because that human being lied about me all over the place, including to "the FBI and 3 police departments". Pretty simple.
TK: You obviously don't want/expect anyone else to treat you this way, but
KO: See previous answer.
TK: Why this uncontrolable need to ruin everyone's reputation who disagrees with you?
KO: Uncontrollable? Let's rewind to last August, on the Fray. There was Terrie, you, Chuck, and Rosie, 4 against 1, on a public buttetin board, calling me a "criminal" and a "sex offender". I didn't even know you were in there until a random passerby told me. Was all that to help my reputation? I went to the Fray BY MYSELF. I knew no one. I started battling you all, and I beat all of you. Everyone there agreed with me, and after I got booted, the people ran you two out on a rail. You may not realize it, but half of the people on the Anti PPX list and fan club today are people who were at the Fray and saw what you did. Very few of my friends in real life are on those boards, its ALL people I picked up in the course of DEFENDING myself against the lies of the TT's. You have yourself to blame for all the infamy. You're just mad because I was able to do something back to you, which was something you did not think possible at the time. Well, you were wrong. You picked the wrong person to fuck with. It happens sometimes.
TK: I have been sufferring from severe depression for months now, and to be quite honest, your actions have only made things worse.
KO: I'm sorry, Traci. I thought you were having fun with me. I see now you're totally serious. Maybe that's your problem? Think about it.
TK: Do you actually want me to have a complete breakdown?
KO: No, I don't. I don't think you have to take PPX so seriously. Its just a joke, T.
TK: Also, I have been advised to ignore you and you would go away. I have been ignoring you for a long time now, and so has Terrie (longer than I have), and still you continue to trash us.
KO: Neither one of you has ignored me at all. You read my fan club everyday. Terrie just made her doodoo list readable by members only. Is that ignoring me? Not quite.
TK: Why is that?
KO: Payback is a motherfucker, eh?
TK: Why can't you just leave us alone?
KO: Why couldn't you leave me alone?
TK: I would think that someone who wants US to leave HIM alone would show us the same courtesy.
KO: The truth is: I don't want you to leave me alone. I want you to attack me relentlessly from now on. I hassle you to provoke you into doing exactly that. Terrie was right, I do CRAVE attention. Cat has said the same thing over and over. Without attention, I get very upset.
TK: Last, I would like to ask you to please take down the e-mails we have sent you, as well as the comments to us from you and the pictures of the naked breasts, and leave your site the way it was when we came across it.
KO: Traci, I appreciate the way you have approached me in this situation. The best I can do is what I've already done, which is change the names. One time, during the Fray, I took down the whole page. The search engines could not find it. All you did was call me a liar, so I put it back up, and it will stay right where it is. You should have backed up a little when you had the chance. You should have seen the "Letters To Rosie" page I took down. Did you ever see it? A PPX MASTERPIECE. It was so gross, I've never written anything so gross in my life. It had roses and nice cursive "ladies" writing on it, it was fabulous by my standards. I took it down, and eliminated it from existence, because Rosie approached me, accepted my offer of peace, and I've been true to my word. Unfortunately, its too late for me to take down the UGLY TALK page, its just too successful, I hope you understand.
TK: I know you consider those bare breasts to be a joke.
KO: They are, in fact, a joke. They are "fictional".
TK: However, it isn't funny.
KO: Really? Back to telling me what to laugh at, eh?
TK: And anyone new who comes across the site is going to actually believe they are ours.
KO: Who's, Turkie and Tacki? They are allegorical characters. Look it up, that means "fiction based on reality". No one will know you wrote the text unless you tell them.
TK: I don't go out of my way to post dirty things about you that aren't you.
KO: What was your post about the SAPD, clean?
TK: Please do me the same courtesy.
KO: I did. haha.
KO: I know you're being sincere, Traci, I really do. Let me be sincere for a moment. I like you, Traci. I really do. I don't care if you're paraplegic, a one-eyed lesbian, and you hate my guts, I like you, you're funny as hell, and I sincerely have a weird crush on you. I would like to be friends, good friends. I don't care if we ever meet or not. Maybe we will go two seperate directions, and never speak again, that's OK. But I will never forget you, and I want you to know you have a special place in my heart, as weird as that probably sounds. I will continue to fight you, but you better realize, in the back of your mind, this Otto guy actually LIKES you, because he does.
Sincerely, Kurt Otto
P. S. Don't take it so seriously, I'm not that influential... yet. haha.