JUVENILE

DELINQUENT

COMPUTER

DORKS

I met these 16 year old dungeons & dragons guys. They were talkin' 'bout werewolves & demons & role-playing games, telling me all these rules about smart guys, fast guys, and big guys. its a fantasy to them, but popeye-x's crew in REAL LIFE is the same thing.

I tell them, look, in real life, when you're anticipating a fight, you plan ahead by packin', cops always do that, if you're gonna pack at all, you might as well be like the real guys and pack at least 3... your main piece, a backup, and your secret backup.

• THEM: ok, you just tell the Game Master you have a concealed weapon in your right pocket...

• ME: you don't understand, the whole point is nobody knows but you, that's what its all about.

I also tried to help them realize, the main rule is:
ALWAYS CHEAT

Its unfair, but if you're going to shoot someone dead, treating them unfairly is minor by comparison. I said, you go ahead and be a werewolf or a vampire, but I wanna be a seemingly benign looking handyman type. What you don't realize is I've got a machinegun in my lunchbox.

They mentioned Merlin, what kind of wizard he is, etc.

• ME: "Actually, Merlin is just a wino who eats out of a dumpster behind Shoney's."

• THEM: "If he's such a wizard, why is he eating out of a Shoney's dumpster?"

• ME: "You've just answered your own question."

Anyway, I fucked with their heads and used Toiletside Reader URL's to "explain" what I was saying. Pretty soon, DarkFox87 ("I'm 16 and proud of it") and his boys are crawlin' thru my site like termites... quoting things like, "Hey, Little Kid, I wanna fuck your mommy...", and "I just caulked my whole house with cattle wormer, what should I do?"

I've finally found my ideal audience:
JUVENILE DELINQUENT COMPUTER DORKS

they are noticing "subtleties" nobody but me knows about

• THEM: Are you from America?

• ME: No, I'm from Texas.
  (they find this wildly amusing)

• THEM: Do you hate America?

• ME: No, I hate Americans. They are unworthy of America.

• THEM: Are you an atheist?

• ME: No, but I hate Christians. Thank God for Jesus, that's the only way you can shut them up. Its a miracle!

• THEM: You love Jesus?

• ME: Yes, He wasn't a Christian.

and so on...
My infantile sense of humor appeals to these retarded pixie pinheads. They think "I knocked him cold by slamming the dumpster door on his head" is a really hip surprise ending. The "Maximoto, Intestine Tag Team Sumo Wrestler" story is their favorite page.

• ME: I wrote that before your parents were born, (1973), back when I was crazy

Naturally, they became my disciples, DarkFox87 requested and received a copy of the FOUR HOUR log. He wants to use it for reference material in an upcoming Yahoo Chat Fight with Christians.