ppx is a crack gnome
James's dreams came true and he became an almost godlike Lv.55 Mage/Paladin and defeated the horrible vampire-witch of the spooky forest (if you have ever seen The Wuzzles* you know how spooky they are).
PPX comment: (wipes tear) ...sniff... his... dreams came true? (sobs) I'm so happy!.. (moans)
...it says he became an almost "godlike Lv.55 Mage/Paladin"... WHOA... almost? ...oooo (chills)... but look! he defeated the horrible vampire-witch of the spooky forest... ARRRRRGGGHH (PPX: whimpers and crouches in a ball, peeking out from behind rows and rows of empty happy meal boxes) ...brushes debris from tattered clothing...
thr floor hvaing]
PPX fast forwards the whole
PPX: Well, don'tcha just know it!
(screaming brats run by fighting over toys and shooting blue fireballs out of a WD40 can being lit with a Bic by a 6 year old scrawny frecklefaced PYROMANIAC named "Marty")
(a woman's screaming, growling voice shrieks from inside a trashed out trailer home.... all of a sudden..)
IT walks out...
(curlers in her hair, cigarette in mouth dangling long ash, beer can in one hand, crack pipe in the other, tattoo of barbed wire across her wrists, and she bellows)
MARTY!... ALRIGHT, MISTER, GET YOUR BUTT BACK IN HERE
PPX: I can hardly believe what I'm seeing here, but if this is how real life turns out, this rpg might save millions and billions of Wizards and Warthogs and Crack Gnomes from the fate of James, who actually ended up MARRIED to none other than...
Horrible Vampire Witch of Spooky Forest, Mobile Home Village, trailer #87, Row B.