Don't they make a lovely couple?Today's cycle...
The Storage Room Syndrome
in a nutshell:
If allowed to persist, the present day American female will rent a storage room, or SEVERAL storage rooms, and fill them to the ceiling with assorted objects that she considers essential to her life. These important objects cover a wide range of variety, but they ALL have one Very Interesting characteristic in common. Aside from being in storage, they play NO PART AT ALL in the life of their owner. They are just there for the sake of some past life, or some future life, but their only effect on THIS life is the perpetual drain of resources.
Essential Detail #1 - The value of the objects in the storage room must NEVER, EVER begin to approach the cost of storing them.
Essential Detail #2 - It is absolutely imperative that the objects be of the most mundane variety possible. If its not TOTALLY USELESS, it won't be in the storage room.

Part 1
The American Female FAILS TO TAKE CARE OF HER RESPONSIBILITIES, preferring instead to stall for time by renting a storage facility. Note: it is not uncommon for the actual renting to be done by her boyfriend, ex-husband, or mother.

Part 2
The American Female POURS MONEY into the continuance of the situation. Except for the cost of her children, this eventually becomes the largest investment of money and stress in her life. Shelter and transportation become minor considerations, not to mention other people's concerns. She is vigilant for as long as she can bear it.

Part 3
Eventually, the INEVITABLE collapse comes. The ever-present lack of responsibility (not responding) finally catches up with her. The American Female LOSES her investment by FAILING TO PAY.

Part 4
All the important objects the American Female has hoarded, but NEVER USED, are IRRETRIEVABLY LOST to her. When this happens, she simply cannot comprehend it, even though it has already taken place. This whole cycle runs in a continual circle and you can jump on and argue from any point to any other point. No matter which direction you go, you ALWAYS end up at the SAME place. This drives the American female absolutely nuts, and at this point she lashes out at any diversion that comes to mind, because she CAN NOT, WILL NOT, MUST NOT admit to herself that she is TRULY STUPID!!!!!!

American males do it, too!!!!!!!

Lovely Couple by Kevin Stephens
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reader comments:

Erica writes:
Hello Kurt, Could never read it all; maybe in small increments, spread over long periods of time. Today I read "stupidity of typical am. female"; to also confirm your personal observations I will add the story of a friend of mine whom had a storage unit for years (mother paid for of course); when she decided to garage sale it, it's value didn't come close to the investment. (She is an artist who sells her painings @ $20K a pop). To further compliment your keen life obsevations, for there is the occasional insightful reflection; let me add that even with
impenetrable mental/emotinal filters screening reality for your egocentric universe, you do seem to be fair in dishing out your judgements on the world's ignorance and dementia. Can you see evolutionary potential here? A interesting analytical tool for you might be a study of the intelligence, beauty and depth of the women you attract. After all, these type of relatioships are perfect pychological mirrors. If you still hate after all these years, I thank you in advance for the emotion.

Dr. Popeye X explains:
I don't hate, I just try to laugh. Its more fun. Thanks for reading, and thanks for saying you thought I was fair. The "impenetrable mental/emotinal filters" are just for the character being portrayed, the glimmer of truth is thrown in so you'll know I'm a "sensible" maniac.


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