...millions and billions of new bands around town...

WARSAW - Polish heavy metal

FLAMBEAU - parade combo

FINAGLE - likes to haggle and then be paid in barter

MALARKY - pointless rock

MIDDLE FINGER - 'fuck you' rockers

THE JOINT CHIEFS OF STASH - military brass march rock, decked out in dreadlocks and indian chief headresses, with large backpacks full of Thai-sticks

OBNOXIOUS FUMES - B.O. rockers

21st CHROMOSOME - mongoloid rock

FETUS - new band with infantile approach

BLOODSUCK - vampire rock, lead singer named Leech, he's a fag who does volunteer work at a slaughterhouse

HOT SPOT - extensive use of lasers and magnifying glasses, volatile stage show, most of the group is blind

PYGMALION - anti E.R.A rock

RUCKUS - assault and battery country rock

SNAFU - fuck offs extraordinaire

BANDWAGON - all their friends are in the band

PEDESTRIAN - their roadies walk to the gigs and carry amps by hand

SPONGE - use borrowed amps and guitars exclusively, usually from the band playing right before them

FIRST GIGTITLESTALKIN' 'BOUT LUNGY
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