The youth of today are destroying their minds and souls with the use of illicit drugs and chemical dependency. Every day, our nation's schoolyards are the scenes of drug induced zombie behavior as doped up, freaked out youths stalk the playgrounds, in search of bigger and more terrible thrills.

Why, just last week, I was down at the fence at a local elementary school, and those kids were more than happy to pay me premium, jacked up prices for any kind of drug they could lay their hands on. Reds, whites, acid, speed, coke, glue, you name it, they wanted to buy it, and they did!

It staggers the mind to think of the absolutely ravenous appetite these youngsters have for the hard stuff. I went to a local theater this past weekend, and I happened to have a couple of ounces of heroin with me. I got out of my car, and immediately I was surrounded by little kids waving $50 bills, climbing over each other just to buy a shot. Keeping in mind that I only sell single hits, the entire 2 ounces of low grade Mexican brown was gone in under 22 minutes. I was shocked! I never made so much money so fast! And to think that all of it came from expense money given by loving, trusting parents, those little brats should be ashamed of themselves!

The government, the police, the parents, and their kids... they all share the blame, as they stand by and watch the moral fiber of this country's future shrivel up like doodlebugs soaked with charcoal lighter fluid, and lit with Dad's lighter.

Someone should shoulder some responsibility, and save these kids from ridiculously overpriced poisons that sap away their lunch money like the Devil's magnet. Parents need to snap out of their comatose mindsets, and force their children to read the Toiletside Reader as much as possible, every day. That's the least they could do, is that too much to ask?

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reader comments

From A "Real" Drug User:
Subject - WRONG
You're so full of shit, it hurts! I am a drug user and never use money given to me by my parents. Neither do I find myself scrambling in a group of animals for any shot . It sounds to me like you have a problem with people who have habits such as myself, and have made up these outrageouse stories to make us seem like crazed animals , but anyone who knows anything will read this and know that you have no knowledge of what a drug user is. I am sorry about your limitted mind!

Dr. Popeye X comments:
You are absolutely correct. I apologize for any bad reputation I may have caused you. I was only trying to help you laugh at yourself.

Connie says:
Oh my gosh, this is
HILARIOUS. Hey man, I NEVER use my allowance or my lunch money to buy drugs. I steal from my grandmother.

Annalisa says:
This is priceless, especially the last 2 lines. Thanks for the

MC says:
limitted mind is a terrible thing to waste.

Helicopter Flying Turtle sez:
I'm so sorry about his terrible spelling! A mind is a terrible
think to waste!

Salty Dog howls:
So, this was obviously written by another evil genius... what a shmuck... I love it.

Kyle sez:
Just another satisfied customer.


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