FRETS

I'm Glad Ya'll Could Make It Tonight,

Today,

Whatever Time It Is Somewhere,

Wherever You're At,

And When,

I'm Real Glad You Could Make It Tonight

Somehow,

Some Way,

If You Can't Seem To Hear Me

Then Try To Get Near Me

Get Up To The Speakers

See If You Can Tweakum

Get Down, Get Close, Don't Wan't To Yell

I'll Tell You The Story That I Found Out

Told To Me In About 2 To 5 Minutes

By A Man Who Gets Right Into It

But He's A Liar, And That's Ok

He Tells A Good Story, The Way He Says It,

Makes You Want To Believe It

Even When You Know Damn Well

Its A Motherfucking Lie...

You Just Want To Believe It...

You Play The Guitar

I Can't Help It, What Can I Say?

Man, Check It Out

They Don't Call 'Em Frets For Nothin'

Guitar...

The Instrument Of The Eternal Worry....

Worrying Element

Its In Yer Life

Frettin Away, Gettin Picky, All High Strung

You Strum For Fuel

And You Strangle A Neck

And You Whammy It Around Like

Your Playing With Your Dick

Hit The Whammy

Call Your Mommy

And Go Home And Jam It

Where Its Safe, Its A Haven,

When Ya Hidin Behind Your Mommy's Apron, Right?

Yyyeeeaaahhh!

Aprons, Strings, Bacon, And Eggs

And All Those Things

In The Kitchen,

Like Cookies, Taste Good

Like They Supposedta Should

And Bitchin, Cuz You Can't Get Food, Or Cook Too Good

Yeah, Your Mommy Gave You Plenty

And I Bet She Did, And I Bet She Said.

"Turn Your Amp Down"

Yeah You Probably Did It, Too...

You Know What Happened To Me Right?

Yeah, I'm The Guy

That Broke Into And Cased

Your Parents House And Stole Your Amp

Right Outta The Place Took It Over To My House

Where You Immediately Came Over And Said,

"Oh, Cool Amp, Just Like Mine"

(cracking up)

"Check It Out, Mine's Lots Louder..."

Man, It Blew In The First Three Minutes

Smoked It!

It Was A Low E On The Bass

Thru A Fuzz Tone Echoplex, Then

Thru A Wah Wah, Back Thru The Fuzz

Then Midied Thru A Splittitter

Directly Back Into The Pickup...

...Man, That Was A Screamin' Circuit!!!

It Was Oscillation... Impossillation...

Internal Combustion Ingenuity

Frustration Fuzzbuster!

And A Grubcluster Was Screamin'

Thru The Air That Day...

Face by Steve "Bigfoot" Wisnoski,
monster guitarist.
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