Why does she like ME?
It makes no sense at all,
I hate the ballistics of her bitching,
but I love the proximity of that pussy...
I really hate the sight of her pissed-off face, but...

I hate the sight of ANYONE'S pissed-off face,
except my own, I love MY face.
Maybe that's why she likes ME!
My face. Hmmmmm.

I love MY face.

Face it, I'm ugly.
I'm old and mean,
but I was mean when I was young.
Ugly and mean, and twice as obscene,
and still I'm a wanted man.
It makes no sense at all!
She likes ME! Why?
It has nothing to do with ME!
Something happened in her life,
(maybe it was her DNA,)

something or someone
created a vacuum in her inner being,
and for reasons
beyond my influence or control,
I fill that vacuum for her,
or at least she THINKS I do.

a rose is a rose is a dead cop

All of a sudden, a crazy man on TV
gives a lady cop 3 dozen roses.
She consents to talk to him,
so he RAPES her,
but he has diplomatic immunity,
so the lady cop's male partner KILLS him.
Then, my phone rings and its her again.
She likes ME!
I tell her, I'm no good for you.
I watch stupid TV shows.
I sometimes act out these melodramas,
but I put in my own twist.
Meanwhile, on TV, the lady cop
is whimpering about being raped.
I could care less,
get on with the shooting and fighting!
OK! She got raped!
Do we have to listen to
the sympathetic syrup music,
and drag it out the whole episode?
Get on with it!
Or have her get raped again,
I don't know.
I'm sick of sympathizing,
I wanna see gunplay!!
Suddenly, a rifle bullet splits the silence,
striking the lady cop right between the eyes,
blowing the back of her head off.

don't forget to duck

Gross as a motherfucker!!
(Ring!) My phone interrupts, and its her again.
She likes ME! Why? What for?
I'm a lousy lay, that's what I've been told.
They say I complain too much, ...oh, yeah?
Well, touch my dick in the exact same spot
with that sharp tooth again, and I'm going to blow
the back of YOUR head off, bitch!
On the TV, the dead lady cop's partner
stops to sculpt with her shattered brains,
then he takes out his case-hardened dick,
and literally fucks her brains out!
I'm watching his one-eyed cop-dick
poke thru her eye hole,
...my phone rings again, and she says...

hello, its me again
"Last week, I popped out my glass eye because my boyfriend has been begging to "skull fuck" me. Now, I'm wondering, what's the best way to stick it back in?"
"I don't know... have you
tried a socket wrench?"

latex mask by Kevin Stephens

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