original photo by Steve Oleson

Hello, this is XT. Some people call me Dr. Popeye X. I don’t care WHAT they call me, as long as they DON’T call me, that’s all that matters. I hate it when skeezer bitches, be they female or male, try like dogs to get a bite of XT in their slobber drippin’ mouths. They can’t believe how I’m right on top of everything, and their SKEEZE GOES NOWHERE. Skeezers get NO slack in the presence of the MASTER OF NOT-BEING MANIPULATED..... ME!

I love talking to little kids.........all ages....I blow their fucking minds! I love inflicting my personality on young’uns who’ve never been exposed to a RAMBLING MEGALOMANIAC WITH A PENCHANT FOR ENDLESS BABBLE THAT MAKES MEGA-SENSE, even small children instinctively KNOW ITS NOT INSANE! I love twisting their heads around until the logic separates from the restriction of the straightness, the look on their face betrays a natural sense of FUN as they feel their brains go temporarily out of control. They laugh out loud, and look to their parent to verify what they’re thinking. After a while, they realize the parent doesn’t know shit about what’s really being laughed at. Kids are GREAT. I love to drive them nuts.

I hate guys who can’t get enough pussy the regular way, so they connive, cheat, and backstab on people who trust them, just so they can snatch a little on the side. They’re so afraid they’re gonna miss out on all the nookie, they completely destroy the rest of their life in the attempt for a cheap fuck. They’ll work their ass off for a long range goal, and after five years or so, they blow the whole thing for five minutes of quick sex. Its actually as hilarious as it is aggravating. It pisses you off, but at least you get to laugh at the pussy-ass fool who does it.

I hate TV preachers who aren’t as smart as the people in the audience. It is so painful to feel their anxiety as they stumble thru an ill prepared sermon. What’s even worse, is when they can’t find their place when they read from the Bible. I hate having to wait while they catch-up to their own train of thought. I love TV preachers from the Kentucky hills who are SUPER HICK with intense country and western accents, carrying tattered and worn out Bibles, with pages all wrinkly and falling everywhere.

I hate it when teenagers on TV news SHOOT THEIR DADS and then get off SCOTT FREE, with reduced charges and/or book deals. They oughta give’em MEDALS AND TROPHIES to go with it.

I’ve said it from the start, MICHAEL JACKSON is guilty as a motherfucker. Everybody pay attention! READ MY LIPS! MJ is gonna fall. White Americans are gonna lose their Pepsi drinkin’ fag hero! Boo-hoo-hoo. He’s Bad...He’s Bad.....

I can’t stand watching mothers GIVING BIRTH, LIVE on TV. They scream and yell and raise all kinds of hell. WHAT A BUNCH OF PUSSIES! Just shut-up and HAVE the SON-OF-A-BITCH!

This is XT and I’m in command, I would advise everybody 2 just stick with the plan...... what plan? I’ll tell you what plan: Sleep all day long, wake up at sunset, take tons and tons of speed and/or cocaine, stay up late and have one sided arguments with Rush Limbaugh. Stay up till 2:30 am and watch Perry Mason have one sided arguments with Hamilton Burger. Watch Walter Brennan shoot Nazis, then, switch over and have a super viscious, one sided argument with Paula Zahn. Crash out as the sun comes up, sleep till noon, wake up and smoke pot, crash out until sundown. Exceptions to the plan: be awake at 6:00 am Sundays to watch Peter Ruckman do chalk-talk sermons be awake at 6:30 am Tues. and Thurs. to watch "The Western Tradition", a great show about history, its a good show to watch and then switch to…Good Morning America to tell Joan Lunden to SUCK MY DICK, BITCH! I hate that fucked up bitch one time she said "sometimes, nature is the best science". How the fuck does she think science works? AGAINST NATURE? Does she think MAN, in all his brilliance, can make nature turn against its own laws? It pisses me off like shit! That’s the only reason she’ll give up a piece of ass, some man turns the laws of nature around and TRICKS her into being nasty. Fucking stupid-ass bitch I don’t give a fuck what tampon she uses, she is not my standard for "Hey, its okay, I do it!"

Thing to do: Watch John Hagee everyday at least twice, memorize his sermons, anecdotes, bad jokes. Learn to scream, "GET OVER IT!!!!", just like he does, or how about, "It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, bubba...", "GET OFF YOUR PITY POT!!!!!", "QUIT WHINING ABOUT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES!!!", "If you’re knocked down, get back up...", and the classic..."FIGHT TO WIN!!!!"

Every morning show has its vomit wrenching YANKEE co-host: Paula Zahn on CBS, Katie Couric on NBC, Joan Lunden on ABC, its unbelievable, isn’t it? Bryant Gumble is a white bitch. White audiences derive untold comfort from having a black man who acts like a white Yankee bitch on their safe-as-milk TV screens black people can’t stand that sonofabitch. I heard a black chick call him a "white faggot". Who in the fuck determines who these people are? I can’t stand watching Yankees on TV…it turns my stomach.

Thing to do: Smoke pot early in the morning, watch TV until pissed off. SCREAM at TV. Go to computer and write anti-TV diatribes until buzz wears off. Smoke more pot. SCREAM at TV some more and go to sleep.

Wake up early and watch Bonanza. Spend the whole time yelling at Ben Cartwright about being a HOMO ON THE RANGE COWBOY FAGGOT with THREE GAY SONS who always stick up for each other in fistfights. There’s Trapper John, pissed off bald-headed, wig-wearing hothead, he should've been dead by now. There’s Hoss, hard-headed, blow-absorbing, unbeatable fistfighter. He’s a dead motherfucker. There’s Little Houseshoe On The Prariedog. Can’t fight but won’t back down. Little teenage werewolf, highway-to-hell, just another dead motherfucker. FUCK THE PONDEROSA!

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