MY STRAWBERRY

color the head of my thing-a-ma-bob...

I don't know if I should tell you this... Oh, why not? I got your attention, might as well... here's a little stunt I pull, whenever I'm in a restaurant, and the sexy waitresses start getting to me... I make a special trip to the john, and I steal a RED MARKS-A-LOT off the counter on the way in. Once inside the stall, I color the head of my thing-a-ma-bob RED, then, I go back to the table, and lay a napkin across my lap. Next, I cleverly order a large strawberry plate, and when it arrives, I nonchalantly slip my "secret" strawberry through the folds of the napkin, out into the open, what with a few well placed crumbs, who would notice?

A real fun thing to do is, wait until some waitresses are nearby, and "accidentally" spill the whole strawberry dish on my lap. The waitresses usually rush over to clean up, but when they grab my strawberry, it won't pull away, and that's when I say, "I guess its stuck," and shrug my shoulders. They usually walk away, but sometimes they stare at the strange hole on top, and that's when I say, "I guess the stem got pulled out," whereupon I immediately burst into song, my own twisted version of 'Incest And Peckermints', announcing, "Here's a real humdinger by the Strawberry Alarm Cock!"

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reader comments:

Jesse writes:
Subject -
yum yum strawberry?
I do something similar, but with
pineapples.

Dr. Popeye X elaborates:
You should try a Burrito Supreme from Taco Bell... very nice.

Rob reveals:
I do the same thing with
Braunshweiger! Unfortunately, the waitress is a fat man in lederhosen.

Dr. Popeye X confirms:
Ja wohl, ist das Lieben SCHUG, mein Reichs Meurer!

Kent writes:
Subject:
The Strawberry Picker Upper
Now, now, how sexist.
You didnt't even mention that, in the unlikely event that you were female, you could pull this cute lil trick off in a Sushi Bar by causing your
protuberant labia to coyly peek out of your mini skirt and appear to be several slices of salmon sashimi which had slipped from your plate because you were unable to properly manipulate the chopsticks....or something.
Your site is
disgusting and reprehensible,
and i try to read some of it each day,
as inspiration. Unfortunately i dont have a computer in my bathroom, so i have to run back and forth a lot.

An Devoted Devotee
if bits were bats, my network would be a LARGE cave.

Dr. Popeye  X reminds:
If a chicken had lips, it would certainly kiss my cock for being an outstanding pecker. Maybe the chicken came first, but eggs are getting laid by the dozens everyday, and any cock or dude'll do.

Matthew T writes:
You could save yourself a lot of wasted time with the red 'Marks-a-lot' by simply ordering the chef's
Penis Platter or Cock Combo in the first place, there by removing the need for any form of genital disguise. I am surprised that this hadn't already occurred to you, and I know you'll be as pleased with the results as I was. Thanks for the original tip, Hotkins Watkins.

Dr. Popeye X agrees:
Brilliant suggestion. Of course, I had thought of that, and at the local fish & chips restaurant, I ALWAYS order The Captain's Dick for just such a purpose. The reason I didn't add it here was so I  could use the excellent MarksaLot scan in this story. Thanks for the tip, man!

share your secret tips with
popeye-x@popeye-x.com

The TOILETSIDE READER
by Dr. Popeye X
Kurt Otto
2009

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