CHARGE IT!I was tossing and turning every night, racking my brain with the recurring monetary hassles in my life. Then, I saw a mortgage loan commercial with George Foreman about 17 times, but I still couldn't sleep. After that, I saw Dan Moreno, on a mortgage loan commercial about 31 times, but somehow my life was still a financial disaster. I kept going in the same downward spiral until, like a ray of sunshine from Heaven, a glint of Hope entered my life, and changed it forever.

You probably think I'm leading up to a story of religious conversion, or something equally heavy. Well, that's exactly how monumental it was, the day I saw the Home Equity Loan commercial with Terry Bradshaw! He used to play at the Super Bowl! I just dialed the 1-800 number, and I'm proud to report, my financial woes are all behind me. That Terry Bradshaw really made the difference and, HEY, he knows the jingle! I sleep so well at night. Terry Bradshaw gave me a peace that those other sports celebrities couldn't offer. Now that I've got some change in my pocket, I've got more time to watch football and boxing, I don't have to worry about money all the time.

Actually, all I really need at this point, is a PLACE to sleep well at night.

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Reader Comment #1: "They should use OJ as the Super Bowl Hero, after all, he is homeless."

Reader Comment #2: Connecting your "out of control" charge card debts to your home equity, is like handing a chronic alcoholic the keys to his own beer truck, saying, "Drive this truck full of brew across town for me, here's a Diet Pepsi to tide you over."

Reader Comment #3: "I completely agree with you about all the celebrity ad bullshit. Mortgage Loans by Sports Stars... I just can't wait till all the foreclosures from the people who could barely buy a home, and now they owe 50K, with nothing but a house worth 40K, that already has a 35K loan, and a 50K second mortgage on it... You know what will happen... the Government (us) will have to bail all these guys out, (the dumb people and the rich banks). The Lawyers, Politicians, Bankers, and Super Stars will be the only ones who make out. People like me, who pay everything off and owe nothing, will be penalized because we did not act stupid like every one else."

Reader Comment #4 is about #2: "You're so right, this cracks me up. You need a Toiletside Reader story about this."

(Editor: Hello...?)
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