Part 1- Man, Im not kidding, man, HELTER SKELTER is coming down, man, its like, all the violence at the campus is like, a big drag, man! Fucking Pigs & Clinton coming down on our brothers. I think they shot down or beat up about 17 of us, now. YEAH! JESUS CHRIST was the first nonviolent revolutionary! Look what the PIGS did to Him! Its JUST LIKE what happened to me, man, down at the campus riots this weekend!
Like, me & this chick, SUNSHINE, went up to a police riot-line, and we stuck flowers on their riot-shields and told them throw away their guns. Then, SUNSHINE happened to mention that they were "FUCKING SHITEATING PIGS IN LEATHER DRAG" and, Guess What Happened? Without any warning, they started beating the shit out of my brothers, & my sisters... & ME!
Well, we all had to split, and, like, even though we got trampled and beaten, we still went to the big protest love-in the next day. It was a big happening down by the ROTC weapons building. We still had headaches & mace burns from the day before, but, SO WHAT?, cuz like, the true revolutionary doesnt mind suffering for the cause, and besides, that was THE thing to do on campus that week.
Man, get this, man... the fucking Dean got Clinton to send out the National Guard, so a platoon of GIs with rifles & fixed bayonets were guarding the ROTC weapons building. Like, they got the guns, but we got the numbers, so a bunch of us students charged the line of rifles, yelling and shooting the finger on high with one hand, and throwing bricks & Molotov cocktails with the other...
AND ONE OF THOSE LOUSY PIGS SHOT ME!
til the Holocaust blows over.
Part 2- I aint taking this... GAAA, cant do nothing around here! Man, Im movin to the mountains to grow my own pot and just live, man, WITH NO PIGS RUNNING MY LIFE! Ill just get me some seeds & some hogs and live off the land for free! Havent these FASCIST PIGS ever heard of the Constitution? LIFE, LIBERTY, & THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS! That means, WHAT I LIKE TO DO. For instance: Get high on free pot 24hrs a day, whenever I want to, or all the time, its UP TO ME, I Know My Rights, but POSSESSION is still 9/10ths of the law!
Thats it! Im Movin to Colorado! And any pigs or cops or soldiers I see settin foot on my land had better be ready to tangle with a top notch, jungle commando squad, consisting of ME, my friend Junior, whos got his dads BMW motorcycle w/ sidecar, and his cousin Jake, who stole a bunch of hand grenades from the MPs when he was AWOL in Desert Storm. We got squatters rights, so, dont fuck with us unless youre ready to buy the farm... as in kick the ol bucket, pal... cuz me, & Jake, & Jr. dont waste time with street fighting, or karate, or kung-fu, or wrestling... fuck that, we will FUCKING KILL YOU, man! Like, I, personally wouldnt have a direct hand in it cuz Im like, the brains of the unit, but Jr. & Jake used to commit atrocities on Iraquis in Desert Storm FOR KICKS, MAN! Just cuz they were drunk and pissed off at the MPs!
Part 3- Aw, MAN! Gaaaaaa-leeee! Can't do nothing around here! We finally got off our asses and moved to Colorado. Me and the boys started a really bitchin' TRENCHCOAT STORE, and look what happens! Campus violence is ruining everything, and now the Colorado thing is ruined, too!!! We tried selling our leftover inventory out of a van, hitting the various high schools in the area. Don't ya just know it? We got busted by the Denver SWAT! We pulled up to a roadblock, and jumped out wearing our new line, and those trigger happy swine had the gall to shoot our vehicle full of lead! 700 trenchcoats full of bullet holes. That does it! I'm getting a website! I'm tired of pigs blasting my ass every time I turn around! They're not just messin' with your average retail outlet, we're like the MAFIA, man! Wait until we get that URL, cuz then, the ATF can just log on and kiss our asses! That T stands for "tobacco", not "trenchcoats", Bubba!