DR. POPEYE X
Galapagos Hogwash Peppercorns
Made From Necklaces And Elbow Oil
Dipped In Newsprint
And Served With Cardboard Sangwiches
On A Plank Of Plastic Seaweed
Fingernail Files Garnished With
Fried Index Cards
And Served On Open-Faced
Shotgun Shell Casings
w/Lettuce Polaroids And Pelican Tips
Slinkys And Snot Slogs
Blown Off The Roof Of An Old Clothing Store
By A Large, Hideously Deformed Bulldog
Reeking Of Alcohol
And Brimming With Hopscotch Disease
Hot Cowboy Mug Full O' Blood-Fed Fly Dung
With A Side Order Of Rusty Staples
And Dried Outhouse Confetti
Festooned On A Plethora Of Catshit-Sticks
And Vietnamese Acne Cups
Above Includes Tampon Tea (2 refills)
And One Trip To The
Immune Deficiency Salad Wagon
Thank You for Dining
with PPX Industries.
Hi, Kurt. I know a recipe that, ever since I first cooked, has always been
my favorite. You can tell how to make it by it's name. Ingredients: 2 cups toilet water & a lot of bone marrow, one hyena's
bile w/ 20 fried mice, & 3 parts cow droppings & 2 dirty diapers.
Dr. Popeye X replies:
Don't forget about 9 or 10 bags of
assorted chips, right?
Which segues perfectly into:
not to mention
UPDATE: Oooops, wrong Adriana, sorry 'bout that! Thanks for the feedback, I'm still thinking
about that one hyena's bile.
Dearest Popeye X, Your recipes sound delicious but as as my little family will attest to,
cooking is not my forte. Why should I take the trouble, when I can get a good pu-pu platter at almost any Chinese restaurant?
But when I was a kid, I used to make: Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts with
Himalayan Monkey Meat, and Inky, Stinky Birdie Feet. The problem anyone has when making
that dish is always the same. No spoons.
Dr. Popeye X replies:
Just eat from the pan using a sharp knife like in
and thank you for the typo correction, sweetheart.
Subject - Recipe for Oilfield Trash Lunches
Smashed up beer can flattened between two old slices of dry bread followed by a tasty
dessert of Go Jo Hand Cleaner filled Oreos.
That'll sober 'em up for 'bout a week! (Followed by a dessert of) http://rob.majesco.net/drpepper.htm lovely.
Dr. Popeye X regurgitates:
Stop it! You're making my car hungry!
The TOILETSIDE READER
by Dr. Popeye X
© kurt otto 2012
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