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Galapagos Hogwash Peppercorns

Made From Necklaces And Elbow Oil

Dipped In Newsprint

And Served With Cardboard Sangwiches

On A Plank Of Plastic Seaweed

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Fingernail Files Garnished With

Fried Index Cards

And Served On Open-Faced

Shotgun Shell Casings

w/Lettuce Polaroids And Pelican Tips

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Slinkys And Snot Slogs

Blown Off The Roof Of An Old Clothing Store

By A Large, Hideously Deformed Bulldog

Reeking Of Alcohol

And Brimming With Hopscotch Disease

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Hot Cowboy Mug Full O' Blood-Fed Fly Dung

With A Side Order Of Rusty Staples

And Dried Outhouse Confetti

Festooned On A Plethora Of Catshit-Sticks

And Vietnamese Acne Cups

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All The Above Includes Tampon Tea (2 refills)

And One Trip To The Immune Deficiency Salad Wagon

Thank You for Dining with PPX Industries.


reader comments:

Adriana says:
Hi, Kurt. I know a
recipe that, ever since I first cooked, has always been my  favorite. You can tell how to make it by it's name. Ingredients: 2 cups toilet water & a lot of bone marrow, one hyena's bile w/ 20 fried mice, & 3 parts cow droppings & 2 dirty diapers.

Dr. Popeye X replies:
Don't forget about 9 or 10 bags of assorted chips, right?
Which segues perfectly into
not to mention

UPDATE: Oooops, wrong Adriana, sorry 'bout that! Thanks for the feedback, I'm still thinking about that one hyena's bile.

Sunny sez:
Dearest Popeye X, Your recipes sound delicious but as as my little family will attest to, cooking is not my forte. Why should I take the trouble, when I can get a good pu-pu platter at almost any Chinese restaurant? But when I was a kid, I used to make: Great Green Gobs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts with Himalayan Monkey Meat, and Inky, Stinky Birdie Feet. The problem anyone has when making that dish is always the same. No spoons.

Dr. Popeye X replies:
Just eat from the pan using a sharp knife like in
and thank you for the typo correction, sweetheart.

Devilfish writes:
Subject - Recipe for Oilfield Trash Lunches
Smashed up beer can flattened between two old slices of dry bread followed by a tasty dessert of Go Jo Hand Cleaner filled Oreos. That'll sober 'em up for 'bout a week! (Followed by a dessert of) lovely.

Dr. Popeye X regurgitates:
Stop it! You're making my car hungry!

by Dr. Popeye X
kurt otto 2012

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